This blog will contain vague spoilers for Mass Effect 3, as you may have gathered. Of course, the ending for this game is so funky that it doesn't actually relate all that much to the rest of the game, so I'm not sure 'spoiler' is the right term here. Well, whatever. If you want to go in fresh, avert your eyes.

Eyes averted?

Good.

Mass Effect 3's ending is so controversial that it seems to have devoured the entire gaming-related portion of the Internet. It might be the most controversial game ending EVER, which is no small feat. You would've thought that Metal Gear Solid 2 had that title for life, but then again, the whole game is nuts and Kojima is just kinda like that. ME3 has a whole trilogy on its shoulders. So much more is at stake.

I'm not gonna go over the details - 17,000 sites just spring up in the last 10 minutes to do just that - but I find the discussion and fallout of the whole affair to be fascinating. I rather like the ending, in a meta mind screw sort of way.

But as I said yesterday, I also think BioWare should change it. Not because people raised $50,000 overnight for Child's Play on the hopes that they would do so. Or because some people are nerd raging because they didn't find out if Tali builds her house, or if Grunt becomes a Dad, or if Shepard's fish survive the Normandy's crash-landing. No, they should change it because they specifically promised a definitive, satisfying ending, and did not deliver one. They crafted an INTERESTING ending, yes, and one that will probably be remembered long after we'd have forgotten the predictable RPG "what everyone is doing now!" montage. But when you promise people something in exchange for their money, you need to deliver that.

In fact, BioWare delivered quite the opposite: a meta, shadowy, ambiguous ending that can be interpreted in a hundred different ways. You can argue that the terms 'definitive' and 'satisfying' are nebulous, and that BioWare thinks their ending(s) fit that criteria, but we're all men of the world here. We have a pretty good idea of what an RPG developer means when they use words like those. A definitive ending to ME3 is one where you find out what happens, specifically, to everyone you've met in your travels. It shows how much Shepard has changed the world. It doesn't, as a rule, involve hinted-at indoctrination, ghost children, and your crew landing on a mysterious jungle planet with no follow-up.

There are a number of theories circulating the Intertubes about what actually happens in the last hour or so of ME3:

ZOMGZ BioWare SUX! - currently quite popular, even if it's not really a theory, per se.

Shepard Is Indoctrinated And The Final Push Is An Illusion - popular amongst the game's more thoughtful fans. @Hirasugi has written a spectacular blog about this and you should read it now-ish.

It's A Meta-Parody Of 'Player Choice' - the Choose Your Own Adventure nature of ME's story choices has always been a source of satire, both from within BioWare and without. Why not make the game's last moments a pie in the face?

BioWare Just Finished Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Saw The Ending, And Said "Let's Go With That" - I like this one, if only because I felt DE:HR was mildly overlooked.

Deus Ex comes up a lot because Shepard's decision on how to use The Crucible is rooted in transhumanism; whether to control the Reapers, destroy all mechanical life (including Shepard, the nice Geth, and EDI), or synthesize all organics and machines. Many fans consider this a left-field bit of philosophy, but honestly, it's not. The Reaper/organics conflict is the core struggle of the ME trilogy, and the nature of organics and machines drives many of the bigger subplots, too, such as the Quarian/Geth conflict and the evolution of EDI. Even Shepard him/herself becomes a cyborg in ME2 as a not-so-subtle metaphor about his/her humanity possibly slipping away as Shepard allies with Cerberus. Transhumanism is all over the place.

Regardless, though, most fans didn't sign on for ME3 to hear BioWare opine on cybernetics. They wanted to see what happened to the characters they came to know and love. Even if many of them died - including Shepard, which seemed inevitable - they wanted that closure. BioWare all but promised said closure, and didn't make good on it. And that has to be rectified. And listen carefully, BioWare: that DLC simply MUST be free of charge. I can't possibly tell you how much it would hurt your image to basically charge people extra for an ending you more or less told them they'd already paid for. There's business and then there's brand suicide, and you need to tread VERY lightly here. People wanted a 30-60 minute reel of heartbreak and triumph, and you gave them 10 minutes of "WTF?"

I'll remain on BioWare's side here, though, even as I suggest they rewrite their own hard work. Endings are a near-impossible thing, particularly when there's so much build-up and fan anticipation. People are generally disappointed with finales, but really, it's our own fault: how can we expect a single montage/cinema scene/episode to somehow wrap up hundreds of hours of content? It's a magic act that few have achieved.

I'm reminded of some of the most famous 'WTF?' endings in popular culture, also known as "Gainax Endings" thanks to the penguin-related nuttery of Neon Genesis Evangelion. The show St. Elsewhere turned out to be the fever dreams of an autistic child. Or The Prisoner, which Patrick McGoohan deliberately wrote to be vague and infuriating. Even Seinfeld falls in here. Famously, Larry David laughed about the Seinfeld finale, making many of the same complaints I just did about fan expectations for finales. I mean, we're talking Seinfeld here - what were people possibly looking for as resolution?

I can't wait to see how BioWare plays this. A major developer rewriting their own published work to adapt to fan demand? That's a significant milestone in software storytelling. And if nothing else, it's fun having a point of reference that the whole hobby is centered around, even in our current platform-wars atmosphere.

BioWare wanted an ending that would be remembered. Well guys, for better or worse... congratulations! And good luck.