I've found a way to make Skyrim more gratifying: be a total scumbag.

After pumping up my Sneak, Pickpocketing, and Alchemy skills, I've discovered a penchant for burglary, muggings, and slipping poison into people's pants for laughs.

"Hrm... what's that wet feeling in my steel britches? Is my bladder acting up again?"

*Sees toxic, bubbling liquid running down his leg.*

"Well, crap."

For some reason, being evil in a high fantasy setting is more fun than it is in Fallout. Fallout's in a wasteland; everyone's already bordering on being a self-serving sociopath anyhow. But these noble Nordic warriors never see me comin'!

The more I dig into the game, the more it gets me. I love playing with the Alchemy set in my house, although you'd think it would raise some health or odor concerns. Then again, I already have a dresser full of old cheese and dead animal reagents, so my guy must be used to funk.

The combat is too goofy and button-mashy for my tastes, so other than backstabs, I use magic for my carnage. Well, mostly I use OTHER people to do it via illusions and necromancy, 'cause my dainty dark elven hands don't like getting messy. Unlike most RPG adventures, though, roguedom is a VERY valid combat technique: backstabbing does 15 times the damage (or more!) with the right perk and gear. A very pleasant discovery.

The story is pure oatmeal, but that's okay: ME3 is less than a month away. I'll just play in the sandbox until then.

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Fair warning: there will be an intolerable number of Mass Effect blogs in the coming month. 'Cause I'm a BIG STUPID JELLYFISH.