This thing still on? *Taps microphone.*

Instead of talking about games, I was playing them - sadly, this was not always an upgrade.

Brutal Legend: a charming, unique adventure featuring a few genres too many. There are points in the game where you're leading an RTS battle as the Hero Unit,while you're hacking and slashing AND banging out rhythm-based guitar solos as special attacks. That's... a lot going on at once, to put it mildly.

The game's genesis is impossible to decipher: it was Tim Schafer's attempt at a console-friendly RTS game, then ActiBlizzard saw Jack Black and pitched it as a third-person adventure instead. So they cobbled together a surprisingly good single-player campaign - which, in the end, is just a long tutorial for the multiplayer - and then EA got the game instead, and marketed it incessantly as a wacky single-player adventure, and people wondered why there were RTS battles in a hack-and-slash, and Tim Schafer gave up and started huffing Sharpie pens.

The game is about $10 now, and the writing, art, and music are worth that alone. Still, as an RTS experiment, I dunno. The game's intended audience - RTS fans - were presumably getting the goof stuff already on PC. Tim Schafer says he hates that he always ends up making cult classics, but that's what happens when you craft good games with no clear audience other than metalheads. In the end, though, I'm glad I played it. The world the game crafts is so endearing that I just liked driving around in it. Yes, there are driving and racing portions, too. Did I mention this game has way too many genres going on?

Pilotwings Resort: a slick, nice-looking game that is unspeakably boring. I'm sure someone out there enjoys flying a rather slow biplane through little pink dots, but that person is not me. The later missions might get more edgy, but I'm not willing to find out.

Dungeon Defenders: nice little tower defense/action game for the PC. Honestly, the game is shameless, taking all the things gamers crave - towers, loot, PC/gear customization, pets, etc. - and putting them into a single nice-looking package with earnest charm. There's not a single original thought in Dungeon Defenders, but who cares? It runs flawlessly off Steam, is almost always on sale in the $5 range, and does what it does very well. Great snack-sized game for your on-line pals.

Professor Layton and The Specter Or Something: Layton games are pure formula, and here's another dose. As a puzzle fanatic (and more general fan of the quaint English charm of the series), I was quite pleased. For the unfamiliar, here's a question: how do you feel about walking around a beautiful little hamlet full of strange people who inexplicably offer up puzzles about finding the area of a guy's cabbage farm? If that's your cup of Earl Grey, then welcome aboard.

One nit to pick: other than The Curious Village, the big mysteries of each game always boil down to some absurd plot or circumstance that you couldn't possibly guess until they're revealed. I get all into the story and try to figure out the angles myself, and it turns out there are giant rare sea creatures or city-wide hallucinogenic gases involved. (Those are ACTUAL examples from the series.)

Me: "Hmmm... I think Bruce here has been pretending to be The Bandit and skimming from the town lottery."

Layton: "It is quite clear: the zoo has a time machine in the penguin area!"

Me: "WTF?"

Still unopened: Skyrim, Assassin's Creed Revelations

Hope everyone has behaved in my absence. *Looks around accusingly.*