[video=cHE2wzWv5b0IujTW]

Potential emotions trapped waiting to express ie: "..thing I hate"

...even if you don't like it. :twisted:

"omg i'm f*****g going crazy this is starting to get insane and i'm no longer making sense i hate this problem that i have i hate it and i hate it it's like i dont even care anymore about what might happen to myself i hate myself i wanna destroy it it's so hard to understand and accept that i'm the way that i am for how i was made in what exists that cannot seem to be perceived quite right when i do want it to be accepted as being what i am being for that being is what is being thus does it even become clear that i am clear and hated by myself it's like i no longer wanna live but i do live and i wanna live going back and forth from the present, to the past, then to the future then back to the present consisting of nothing but the past and the future then just which way are we flowing in this stream of life that we consider to have a time limit and yet forever going f**k this sh!t i can't seem to understand it at all i hate how it works the way it works the way it moves by the way it's moved no longer real and yet it exists no longer unreal and yet so real. do all things have a limit do we even know what we're talking about when we do talk even to ourselves in most of the time when we do talk it is to communicate as if a thought that is suppose to be the most principal of our principles that cannot be changed or it is unchanged no longer meaningful but full of words ok ok this is starting to get ridiculous lmao i wanna cuss and yell at the most highest point of my lungs that can be exerted which comes out as air but accepted as words that is full of meaning but is not making sense in the most obvious manner that can be said omg what got me thinking this way i do not understand nor wish to understand and discover it's like being created all over again to keep on going on and on almost forever but not making sense at all if ever do i realize what is being said or do i realize what is to be said what is this f****d up enemy that i seem to hate everytime i think of something it's like i'm against it when it's being said it is being contradicted by what i think it's some kind of something that is supposedly existing but is this a unique quality that can be attributed to us as how we are different to others i cant seem to understand it at all and it's no longer meaningful ok this is getting really crazy i wanna say a bunch of things but it's like bullsh!t you're not making sense at all dumb ass lmao ok this is funny and all but why am i doing this at all i'm trying my hardest to free myself for whatever it is that keeps on holding me back that is so blatantly distracting me in what i must do in order to achieve what i must recieve as in what i need but not wanted or what i want but do not need this goal is becoming harder and harder to reach but in a way i feel that i'm getting closer to whatever it is i wanna reach it seems so far out in the future as if going on a road that keeps on going on and on but i'm sure that it has an end eventually if i do reach it then does it mean i was alive when i have ceased to exist or does it mean that i can be alive but in memories no longer physical but in all mentallitiy just a simpe reflex of our nerves within this thing we consider as our brain where everything seems to be thought of first as being the beginning of what we might wanna execute as an action ok i'm repeating and have repeated myself over and over again but for some stupid reason i keep on going is this what reality is or is this nothing but a result of the cause and effect of trying to find and realize the true meaning of myself very personally and private is it how i think of something no longer ok blah blah blah whatever you say man i dont understand you anymore..."