I still have a small stomach ache, I wasn't able to sleep but for a few hours, not even hours more like an hour, I kept having weird thoughts.

And we've tracked down the true source of such an extreme change in my attitude, I'm been taking a Pill called Wellbutrin to keep from smoking, Having wicked urges to smoke *probly most of all because of my dad slowly dieing*

But any ways It would turn out that The side affects include Major Panic Attacks,Aniexty Attacks, Nausea, Vomiting,Restlessness, Major inabbility to sleep...ect Basicly every thing I felt during these 6 days, Are basicly every side affect Welbutrin is capable of.

So that is the major reason I've gone through this, But I would like to think 2 things, First all the frustration, and angry over my dad being sick, All my walls of protection we're finally broken down, But that wasn't good cause instead of a slow steady fear, and anger, and sadness, It was all at once, I couldn't manage it.

Another is god wanted me home, He wanted me to stop avoiding him, and not fullfilling my purpose.

I Will tell you this, And a testament to god now, That I don't know If I believe in him, I don't know If I have the strengh and Spiritual Maturity to love, and give my life to him, But I've started down the road of faith once again in my life, by Reading the purpose driven life, and By reading the new testament, And I won't be turning back, Because throughout the 6 days of pain, and fear, Reading those books helped me.

So This is the new start of my new faith life:)