Dear Chaos Diary,

We slaughtered many Guardsmen today. They attempted to fire upon us with their "flashlights" (Lasguns: worthless weapons for the followers of a worthless Emperor), but we showed them real firepower with our heavy bolters. A small Dark Eldar scouting party was, what else, scouting our eastern flank and escaped before we could annihilate them and feast upon their souls. Regardless of this slight incursion, the battle was won and the Aspiring Champion (Sergent, for those in the Imperium) ordered pizza in celebration for our efforts towards the expansion of the Ruinous Powers. The pizza boy became a sacrifice to NurgleBob PlaguePants and the anchovy pizza he came with was most delicious.

I am still most concerned about those Dark Eldar. Despite being weak and as breakable as crackers, I've heard their methods of tourture are... cruel and unusual, even to a worshiper of Chaos such as myself. The Aspiring Champion assures us that they would never attack us directly, only prey on those who are separated for the main group. I can only hope otherwise. I wish to meet these Dark Eldar in battle, if only to see if the rumors about them are true. Never wish to never meet a worthy adversary.

-Private First Cl.ass Mikiel, 2nd Company, Alpha Legion

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Something I did for the hell of it.