Ask me anything about Street Fighter IV - anything at all. Go ahead, it's cool. I have the game guide, see, so I have all the answers.

What's that? Cammy's height? Oh easy, she's 5'5". E. Honda's weight? 302 lbs. Gen's hobbies/skills? Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Yep, I've got all the answers. A regular Street Fighter encyclopedia here, in the flesh. Thanks, Prima...

Just don't ask me the best way to work Abel's Change of Direction into a match, because all I have are pictures of his normal moves. No captions with good bits of wisdom, just pictures. Same goes for all the other characters.

Oh, speaking of, don't ask me how to unlock all the characters, because the methods in this book won't work for Akuma or Gouken (and so, by extension, Seth). This book doesn't actually have all the caveats that go along with adding those guys to the roster. You'll need to check GameFAQS or some other site for that.

While you're at it, find a different source of information if you need frame data for all the non-arcade characters. You know, that other half of the cast.

Okay, so maybe there are a few menial little details this book glossed over. But hey, at least I know C. Viper's measurements are 39/24/35. Sup giiiirrl?

All joking aside, Prima's $20 "guide" to Street Fighter IV is like a giant version of the pamphlet that comes with any game, only it has even more useless information than you're used to. Call it a bonus. The fact that it's a, shall we say, not entirely robust guide isn't really the problem for me - not by itself, anyway. No, what really irks me about it is that the damn thing was sealed when I bought it.

Now I have to ask myself, was it sealed to protect Prima from those people who poach the info without buying the book? Or was it to protect Prima's dirty little secret that this thing is a horrible product? I've seen the inside of this book, and there is next to nothing in it that's worth reading, let alone "stealing." Call me a cynic, but I'm beginning to favor the latter.

Don't buy this guide. In fact, be like me and don't buy ANY guides that you can't peruse beforehand. The gaming industry is finding more and more ways to undercut its consumer base. I'll be damned if I'll let half-assed game guides be another bullet for me to dodge. I already have a hard enough time saying no to "Limited Edition" everythings and other such marketry as it is.

That's right, marketry.