I still remember the very first thread I made on GameSpot.  After doing my ritualistic rings around the forums, I'd come to the conclusion that I had nothing meaningful to contribute, and I readied myself to log off and get some sleep.  But, in keeping with my ritual, I didn't do that.  Instead, I dug through the same threads, again and again and again, as though trying to catch them withholding new posts.  The corners of my eyes began to tingle and burn, much as they are now, but I couldn't peel myself away from the computer.  One more thread.  Dud.  Alright, just one more.

It was yet another conversation about Grand Theft Auto that hooked me.  You know the type: "stop blaming games for your actions/parents are irresponsible/Nintendo is for kids. . ."  We've seen and heard them all.  But I hadn't.  Or at least, I hadn't seen enough of them to just roll my eyes and walk away from the discussion.

That thread must have gone on for at least a dozen pages, and at some point a user had the "audacity" to call the GameCube (and Nintendo as a whole) "kiddy".  Oh I couldn't stand for that.  Weeks and weeks of flicking through the forum pages in silence ended that night.  How could someone call Nintendo kiddy?  What right have they?  Some nerve. . . I'd set him straight.

And so it happened.  I had etched my very first words on GameSpot's crowded walls with a rant about what maturity really means, and why people who call Nintendo "kiddy" only do it because it was they who were kiddy.  Oh yeah, flipped it on 'em; they weren't expecting that.  I even used all caps at one point, which I knew was frowned upon, but hey, they started it.  Big babies.

I meant well with that thread, I really did, but I was the worst kind of fanboy back then.  I was the guy who thought Ratchet and Clank was a wasted effort simply because it wasn't a GameCube game.  It sucked as PS2 game.  It just had to.  I was one of those guys that got insecure if a GameCube game got a lower GameSpot rating than I wanted it to.  I denied it all, though, trying to convince myself and other that I wasn't a fanboy.  I was one of "those".

A lot has changed since then, though.  I just got done updating my 'Now Playing' list, and I was rather pleased with myself.  I bought Panzer Dragoon Orta tonight, even though I don't own an old XBOX yet.  One of my buddies brought his over here, we played PDO for a bit, and then he left without packing up his console or his prized copy of Ninja Gaiden Black.  That's pretty cool of him, and I'm really thankful, because PDO is shaping up to be exactly the type of rail-shooter I've been aching for.  So far, it's got just the right measures of complexity and difficulty that make it feel rewarding without being confusing.  If this keeps up, I'll be ready to list it as an all-time favorite. And wouldn't you know it?  I don't give a damn that it's not a GameCube game.

Had it not been for that first post, I wouldn't have run into a GS user named Grammaton_Cleric.  Suffice to say he saw through my overlong speech and identified it for the fanboy spillage that it was.  I hated him for it.  I convinced myself that he was just a self-righteous prat and tried to forget everything he said.  But he sowed a seed.  And would you look at what I'm playing now?

Guitar Hero - [PS2]
Only two songs away from five-starring everything on Expert.  All I need now is really long hair.
Super Mario Sunshine - [GCN]
So what if it's "not as impactful as Mario 64".  Tell me, what is?
Mario vs. DK 2 - [DS]
Borrowed from EBgames; I'll let you know how it turns out
Panzer Dragoon Orta - [XBOX]
Halo wasn't enough to get me excited about the XBOX, but this gem at $10 sure is.