Since finally taking the plunge last month and buying a 360, I've spent quite a bit of time checking out what the current generation brings to the table. In particular, I was curious to see if my perspective on Achievement Points changed at all once I was confronted with them. Many people indicated that it would, that once I unlocked one or two I would become hooked on them, compelled to drive my Gamerscore ever higher, no more able to resist than Icarus flying ever closer to the sun.

I have to say that almost immediately after I started playing, I felt a little pull towards the Achievements. What were they for this game? What would it take to start racking them up? This is exactly what 360 owners had been telling me would happen, and that it would end with me renting College Broom Ball '08 and Barbie Horse Adventures Sigma just to briefly assuage my pointlust.

The thing is, the little pull remained little. As it stands now, I could very quickly and easily add to my Gamerscore with the games I've already played, but just don't see (if you'll excuse the pun) the point. Very briefly, points mattered. They could get you something, be useful. But outside of contests like that, Gamerscore is just a number. Seeing a huge number next to my name on XBOX.com means no more to me than just writing "Pete: six hundred bajillion zillion" on a piece of paper would.

Like much of what MS has brought to the table with the 360 (DLC, microtransactions,etc), Achievements aren't a bad idea in and of themselves. Its the way they're being implemented that robs them of purpose. Having extra challenges to test yourself on after you've tried all the ones built into the game itself is fine--it prolongs the life of the product. But I primarily see Achievements being used two ways by developers, and neither of them is, in my book, a good use.

1.The trophy for showing up.

These are Achievements unlocked by doing nothing special beyond loading the game. You played the first level? You get points! You successfully pressed the jump botton? Everybody gets a gold star! These Achievements (wow, you managed to get the disk in the tray!) rob the idea (and the word) of meaning. Something can't be all that valuable if its handed out free, can it? If I buy a game, chances are that I'm going to play the first level even without being given a cookie for doing it. This type of Achievement also suggests a profound lack of imagination on the developer's part--not a good sign for the game itself.

2. The second job.

This type of Achievement is something that very few people would ever do or care to do in-game, were it not for the fact that there was an Achievement attached to it. They're metaachievements--Achievements that are only about Achievements, and nobody would jump through the hoops required if they couldn't increase the little number next to their name. This isn't an extra challenge, its a chore, and the only payoff is increasing that little number. There's only three reasons I can think of that someone would spend several hours methodically running over 53,000+ zombies in the maintenence tunnels in Dead Rising: they want the Achievement, they want the unlockable weapon (like me), or they just really hate zombies. If you hate zombies, running them over is its own reward--fun. If you're after the weapon, you get the Real Mega Buster to enhance your subsequent playthroughs--fun! If you're after the points, you get... points. Not fun, not something you can trade for something fun, just points*.

Now, I recognize that just because I don't find any inherent value in unlocking Achievements doesn't mean that others can't. Perhaps to others, that little popup telling you you've earned an Achievement is a big old kick in the pants, but to me its just a popup. I don't derive any entertainment from seeing it--I derive my entertainment from the game I'm playing. Giving me Achievements for things like playing the first level of a game is like clapping at someone when they come out of the bathroom--it's not like they weren't going to do their business anyway, and attempting to "reward" them for it is just embarassing. Conversely, expecting me to spend time doing something inherently unfun for abstract compensation (money may be as abstract a thing as Gamerscore in that it doesn't do anything for you by itself, but at least money can be used to get things that benefit you) sounds suspiciously like work, and I consider my worktime to be worth reward considerably greater than empty applause.

It's a fine line to walk, between handing out Achievements like candy on Halloween and making them onerous chores to be suffered through. If Achievements are to be used properly, they have to be something to work at, but not something you're working at just for the Achievement. I'm fine with Achievements for finishing a game, maybe one for each difficulty level. If you find all the hidden keys/coins/golden sporks/whatever in a game instead of just the 70% you need to get to the end of a game, that could be an Achievement. If you beat Boss X without taking a hit, or only using a weak weapon, that could be one. Those are all things you're going to be doing anyway in the course of playing the game, but if you do it exceptionally well or with a handicap, you get recognition for it, if you like that kind of thing.

As long as Achievements are handed out for basic gameplay or are so annoying to get that only the dedicated point-enthusiast will bother unlocking them, and as long as there's no contest like the Old Spice Challenge running, I can't help but find Achievements to be... well, pointless.

(I had to use Zombie Genocide as an example here because it's the only Achievement I've unlocked that I wouldn't have done through normal gameplay. Dead Rising has in-game unlockables for several Achievements, which is why I did Zombie Genocide in the first place. I'm sure there are better examples to be had, with no extra reward for tedious Achievements, but give me a break--I've only had my 360 for a month)