Dear GameSpot,

I have to start by admitting that you've provided me with countless hours of entertainment. I've never had to worry about being left out in the cold when E3 rolls around or whether my 1st grade Japanese language skills can guide me through TGS. In fact, you've done so many great things for me that I've never even considered soliciting those young, sexy websites, flash-playing their goods all over the internet. But there is a problem inherent in your greatness; it makes your minor annoyances seem like egregious faults. As such, I've made a list of things you need to work on so that our relationship can continue for many years to come. Please remember, this is for your own good.

1. You need to relocate or start work earlier. Now I understand that you can't put up the day's new content until you've finished creating it, and that seems to roughly coincide with the end of your work day. While that's fine and dandy over there on the west coast, it just isn't working for me. I like to start dinner around 7pm and spend the rest of the night studying, so I really need my new content to be on Eastern Standard Time. I know you want to be in the center of the gaming world (San Francisco?), but I can't deal with this time zone difference, so I suggest moving your entire office over to this side of the country. Alternatively, you could start your work day at about 4am Pacific and crank out my new content earlier in the day. As an added bonus, you get out of work earlier, so everybody wins!

2. Perks for paying subscribers. I've been a GameSpot All Access subscriber for about a year now and I have no idea what that means. I know I got an emblem for playing in a subscriber-only Gears of War tournament and I'm pretty sure the admins have been sending me love letters, but that's about it. I really think you should reward subscribers by sending them free gifts. Ideally, the gifts should come once a week, but on different days so as to spice things up. Also, the prizes should be worth more than the actual price of subscribing. I believe that this perk would help you reach your goal of attracting new subscribers and help me reach my goal of getting free stuff. Again, both of us come out on top.

3. Rethink your spelling of "OK." I know that you probably have editorial guidelines for original GameSpot content, but why do you have to spell "okay" as "OK?" Whenever I read a review, this word seems to get thrown around a lot. That wouldn't be a problem in and of itself, but whenever I see it spelled this way, my brain thinks that you're yelling. This causes me to lose focus and fall out of my "Review Zone" (RZ). Being in my RZ is vital for all game-buying decisions. Last time I read a review with OK in it, I ended up losing 5 hours of my life and owning a copy of the Superman game (thankfully I don't have an N64 in which to play it). So go ahead and start using okay, instead of OK, okay?

4. Stop talking about the war. Why? Because there is no war. The winner of the new-gen console race has already been decided and you know who it is. You're so obviously biased and everyone can see through your charade. You go about your business, putting on a show, posting objective reviews and slyly covering all of the games that come out for all of the systems and I'm sick of it. The Wii60Station3 is my favorite console and you love it too, so just admit it and stop covering those loser systems.

5. Name confusion. Lately I've been having some issues when I try to visit GameSpot.com on a public computer. When I type in the url (Why isn't there a toolbar button on every copy of IE that takes me straight to you?), I often end up at some site called GameStop.com. Now I don't know who these people are, but they are costing me priceless seconds of my life every time I end up at their site. This is not acceptable. One way to resolve the problem would be to change your name to something easier for me to enter. I suggest "www.asdf,xom," because I'm terrible at typing. Alternatively and ideally, we could take down this mom-and-pop organization called GameStop. They probably only have one store, and I have a hammer. Once we conquer them and force them to sign a peace treaty, I believe IP law will grant us the exclusive rights to GameStop.com. You will then set it up to redirect me here whenever I accidentally type it in. I'll save countless seconds and we'll both get to participate in a siege, so we both win yet again.

As you can see GameSpot, I'm not very demanding. You have some major problems and it's easy to see how they are ruining my life. Some people can't seem to put up with your shortcomings, so they complain and whine and deface you with their almost indecipherable grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Not me GameSpot, I'm just trying to help you change for the better. Those others can leave if they don't like you, but I'll be around, helping you help me.