I literally stopped crying 10 minutes ago.

Now, as a completely heterosexual individual, people find it hard to understand me sometimes. I can see their point of view, honestly. I mean, how many guys do you know who will openly admit to wanting kids, feeling sad when watching films, listen music that reminds them of love... and be called straight? Its a shame that those questions are asked of me, but all I can say is I am in touch with my feelings. I like sports, I like getting dirty, I like a good drink, and definately like appraising the finer sex, my eye being easily pleased and not too fusy ;)

But all I want at the end of the day is love. No holds barred, pure unadulterated love. It is the purest of emotions, and one which I do not allow myself the liberty of feeling very often, as my attempts to harness it have been thwarted by back hands from Cupid on many occasions. But the last girl I loved... oh my god, did I love her. I still do. But its come to an end, as far as seeing her in my life. Finally I've said to myself " Enough". Deleted her texts. Cancelled her number. Off Facebook friends. And its broken my heart.

I had not been so happy to be myself since I was married, there wasnt an effort required to be anything else but myself, its rare that people will see me as more than a friend in my natural state, so for someone to want more from me just being me is a gift indeed. But no more. If I type anymore, that'll be me crying again, so I better hit the sack instead.

Dean