I mentioned before that I was considering putting a short excerpt of a BBC radio comedy programme on my blog. The programme is called 'And Now In Colour', and it is a radio sketch show starring Tim Firth, Tim de Jongh (aka Tim Scott), Michael Rutger (Michael Smith, a devoted horror fan, taking his pseudonym from actor Rutger Hauer) and William Vandyck. They played characters: Firthie, Tim, Mike and Will. The show was broadcast on the BBC world service on the 20th December 1990. Well, after consideration, I have decided to put down in text, my favourite sketch from the show. It is about a musical duo, Mike and Tim. And you will realise as you read on, that Mike, the pianist, has plotted revenge on his singing partner, Tim. And Tim, unwittingly, has to sing the lyrics that Mike has wrote. And Now In Colour Tim: Er, I’ll like to sing a song for you now; I’ve been performing songs for a good few years now with er…Ol’ Mike here at the piano there, er…haven’t we erm…? Mike (at the piano): ping Yeah. Tim: Yeah…erm…we found that…erm…that Mike’s lyrics and my tunes seem to mould together very well, er…haven’t we? Mike (at the piano): ping Yeah. Tim: …and er…we’d like to sing our latest song for you now, it’s er…(turns to Mike) Have you got it? Mike (at the piano): Hmmm? Oh…er…yeah, the words are there. Tim: (Takes lyrics) This is the new song and it’s called “The Way I Feel Tonight”. Music starts, Tim sings: I know you think I didn’t even notice you last night I didn’t mention the clothes you wore or the state of your hair I didn’t speak in the restaurant or even in the car on the way home I know you thought for all I care you might not have been there But…life is a funny game No two throws ever seem the same and… Some things are hard to understand The last thing I want you to do is… Think it’s because of you Cause you see all these has to do with the fact that… I’m a git! Oooooo… I’m a shallow hypocrite! I’m a two-timing, back-stabbing, treacherous cold-hearted git. I’ve been waiting to say that to you for a long time, Sunshine! And I want you to know that this is the last lyrics I’m ever gonna write for you Stuck away at the piano with you out there taking all the glory It will all be fifty-fifty you said seven years ago, Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! And another thing I hate about you is that…stupid laugh you do (chuckle) I bet you did one just then And I hate those little stupid pauses…(pause) Yes those stupid pauses Let’s face it! It’s an Elton John rip-off just like every other song you ever wrote You wouldn’t let me try any lyrics that were hard or experimental You always wanted romantic images and poetic words Well let’s see how you like this lot Knicki knacki knocki kno Ping pang pong eeewwwwwww…goes the whole HUK limited Arooga! Arooga! Snoah! We’re loosing pressure! Oh you have no idea how much I’m enjoying this Another thing you used to hate were lines that were slightly too long wellhereyouarethismustgodowninhistoryasthelongestsinglelineinanysong everwritten… By a git! Ooooo… A worming little toad I bet you live underground, over-ground, womberling free Now you’ll have to pay my butt with your royalties… You git! Ooooo… Now we’re coming to the end And before you do your favourite 'big chorus' repeat…I'll stop.