Greetings once again, friends and fellow bloggers. I have a very short story that I find dreadfully funny. Those of you...maybe one or two...who have read my very first few blogs entitled Perils and Pitfalls of a Chinese Bathroom may understand why I find this disproportionately funny. Given the tragectory of my bathroom experiences starting with learning the hard way that there isn't any toilet paper in China and wiping myself with a $20 bill, to having to bleach by ass after a cesspool splashback, to getting stuck in a stall in what was escentially a girls bathroom in Shanghai...finally, it wasn't me on the receiving end of a crule twist of fate. Today it was my wife. And she wasn't prepared for the horrors of an American Restroom.

We are in an Ikea looking for a table. As we are at the very end of the furnature maze, she tells me she has to use the restroom. Not a problem, there is one right by the exit and we are just about there. So far, so good. We didn't didn't find a table, but we found a flease throw-blanket so we can keep warm while watching tv. Now, this is off topic, but she chose a horible avacado green and cream colored pattern - our living room is in red and black - use your imagination. Brutal. Anyway, I wait for her at the snack bar by the exit. She is gone for at least five minutes, maybe a bit longer. I am playing brick-breaker on my blackberry, so I am not really paying attention to the time. Anyway, she gets back and asks, 'how do you spell disgusting?'. I thought she said 'discussing', so I tell her that. She texts one of her friends, then says to me, "that's wrong". Well, I guess I could me, I am a horrible speller. Then it occures to me that I miss understood her accent, so I ask if she ment disgusting. She nods. Oh...I get the picture. I tell her how to spell it and she texts again to her friend. Afterwards she gives an exasperated sound. So I ask her, "pretty bad in the bathroom?". Apparently so. She used some toilet paper to clean the seat and more as an ass-gasket, but didn't pay enough attention to how much was left on the role. So when she finishes her business, she is out of luck as well as out of toilet paper. Ah, a moment of personal vindication for me, but even more importantly, it is a moment of empathy and I say in total sincerity, "I'm sorry, honey. I totally know how you feel."