Perils and Pitfalls, Part 2

Ok, this takes place about 5 days later. I am driving from Qufu to Jinan. We had just spent half the day that the Confucius Temple. I was in gastric distress after eating a mutton and leek bun from a street vender. Now, I am damn sure to have bathroom tissue with me...four packets, one in each pocket. There was now way in hell that I was going to experience what had happened the first time (of course, I was wrong because it happened about a year later, but that is for another story). And, importantly, I was sure to have some hand soap and some Clorox bleach wipes in a little travel packet! I love me some Clorox.

So, at the Confucius Temple and in the Kong park (which is a family cemetery), I had to make a mad dash to the public restrooms. So far so good. But on the long drive back to Jinan, I need to find a pit stop. And there isn't anything around. So we drive a little further and I am starting feel even worse. Finally, we come across a very old-looking truck stop. Bam! I think that I am in luck. Oh, how wrong I was.

So I jump out of the car and run towards the outhouse with the 'W/C' sign. When I got inside, I was totally shocked. This wasn't a modern restroom. No water. No stall. It's an open cesspool with two planks to stand on...well, to squat on. The place looks very dirty and the smell is horrible. However, nature isn't waiting for anything. So I steel my nerve and drop 'trou. Balancing is difficult for a man. But I was able to set myself up well enough that I wasn't going to slip or fall in.

But the fates were no kind to me that day. When I did my business,...uhmm...I got some serious splash-back. Oh...the humanity...the horror. Luckily, I had the Clorox wipes with me, so I had to bleach my @ss.

Oh...my stories are not close to an end...*sighs*