Before I actually say what the actual operation was on, I will just give you a bit of back story on what has been happening leading up to the events of the operation. I have been having these 'pains' all year. It all started during class when I felt abdominal pain in my stomach. It was quite odd as 20 minutes later it was gone. A week passes and it comes again, this time a bit more longer, concerned I head to the doctor, no help whatsoever. The next time I have the pain, I notice something unusual which I should have picked up before, even though I did have abdominal pain, it wasn't the source of the pain at all. It was in fact coming from my... right testicle (took a moment to actually type it :().

My right testicle was enlarged and swollen and I have never had any symptom like this in my life. I go back to the doctor, inform him of my observation and he prescribes antibiotics. Also gives my an appointment to get a scan done which helps not one bit. The pain comes and goes and I can't control when it will come, or even how long it stays there. The first scan, by pure luck, I did get the pain that day but it left before they even had a chance to scan it. It did show up with something but assured me it was nothing to worry about. The second scan, I wasn't so lucky (or unlucky) to have it and surprise, nothing.

I finally, after months of going from doctor to doctor, see a specialist to check it out. Of course I didn't have the pain that day but I did describe the symptoms. He too didn't know what it was but gave me an option to have an operation or leave it as he ensured me that it may just fix itself. At this time I haven't had the pain for about a month, and it was in the middle of the term and was too concerned if it would effect my performance at school. So I decided not to have the operation.

A few months pass, nothing too serious, the pain occasionally coming every now and then, some weeks worse than others. I had another appointment with the specialist so I was hoping that the next appointment I would book the operation (after my exams are over). It was only a few days before my physics exam and then the pain comes again. Severe pain, the most pain I have ever had in my life. I have had severe pain before, but this was just unbearable. I took 2 of the strongest pain killers I had with me but did absolutely nothing. The pain is hard to describe, but there was a throbbing pain in the right testicle (enlarged and swollen of course) and severe abdominal pain. I honestly couldn't sit still, I was even shaking madly although I wasn't sure why.

My mum rushed me to the hospital and the doctor there pumped me with high doses of morphine, it made me light headed and is a weird feeling to go through, but it did the job. I was calmer, in less pain but a little dopey. The nurse recommended me to go to the main hospital, which actually has a specialist in that area. The hospital I was currently in didn't, but it was closer to where I live which was why I got taken there because I was desperate to get help asap. Anyway the next day, it was still swollen, not in that much pain. I was hoping it would go away but it didn't. I sensed something was wrong though because it was a different kind of pain that I haven't experienced before. I went to the main hospital and they scanned it and not very good news came out of it, although I was expecting it was highly probable anyway.

There was no blood flow in the right testicle, and said that it was practically dead. They said they needed to operate on it and remove it as soon as possible. So here I am, in a little bit of pain but still not fit to sit the exams I have been studying for all year. The reason why I am blogging this is because I haven't really had the courage to tell anyone, it is an issue I don't feel comfortable talking about nor mentioning. I really want to tell my friends but just don't know how to, or even if I should? I feel a bit depressed which isn't a feeling I get too often so I guess time is the only factor that can heal me at the moment.

I am also sorry for posting a personal and pretty depressing blog, guess I just felt the need to :)