Seriously what the heck is up with all the vampire attacks lately. I killed like 14 yesterday on my way home from school yesterday. So anyway today I went to Safeway for some orange juice and it turns out the freakin clerks a damn vampire. He tried telling me how I was mistaken and all this bullcrap like "please stop I have a family" heeven showed me a picture of his kids from his wallet. But I was too smart for his "logic" and "reason" So I finished him off by impaling a spike into his eye socket and then took his wallet as a reward for my victory. The contents of the wallet helped me find out where his vampire family lived so I killed a street vampire took his car and drove over and knocked on their door.

I told them I was selling candy for disabled children. They totally bought it. So then when they invited me inside I filled their bathtub with holy water and drowned every single one of those blood sucking parasites. I then burned their house down and detonated a small nuclear device on the charred remains just for good measure. I got 3 in total. Well 4 if you count the vampire baby the mother was pregnant with. The fact is vampires are everywhere in todays society and I'm doing you a service people! but wheres my freakin parade? why don't I get a medal? Some people just don't know how to recognize a hero thats all. Now you will have to excuse me. The pizza boy is here and judging from the looks of him he's a vampire. Peace.