Have you ever thought about the type of person you have become? Is it what you expected?

I always thought I would be somewhere else at this age. I also thought I would be someone else. When I was younger, I always had these delusions of grandeur, that I was going to be something special. I was going to be someone.

Instead, I look at myself now, and I see nothing. A nobody. I did not become what I wanted, nor did I become anyone, really. Unless you count all the negativity in my life.

I am a negative person in general, by default, even. I am vindictive, cynical, b i t c h without a cause. The smallest of things can set me off. I am generally an angry person, but I treat others like I want to be treated. Am I a walking contradiction? Yes.

Then, you have the people that don't believe that at all. I have been told that I'm cute, sweet, polite, and adorable, among other positive influences. People seem to love me - as if I am a beaming magnet of sugar and honey. I honestly wish I were, but where's the fun in being nice?