TWO. CARS.

I left for school this morning and there was ice on the windshield (a terrifying experience for me, someone who has never seen snow and lives in Hot Country). Okay, I told myself, I'll turn the car on and splash some water on the ice and wipe it up and go my merry way.

After that, I went my merry way for a while and came across a wee problem: my windshield wipers wouldn't turn off. Okay, I tell myself, I'll just turn the car off when I can stop and that'll turn off the wipers.

The plan went well until the car didn't turn back on. Apparently, freezing-balls weather drains car batteries.

Did I mention I was right behind a stop sign?

So I called my mommy (this was seven-thirty in the morning, mind you) and she came and tried to see what was wrong with the car, couldn't do anything, get in the van and I'll drive you.

Well, then the van didn't start up.

So now we had two vehicles broke down in front of a stop sign. Two vehicles that I, an out-of-shape homosexual, and my mother, a fifty-year-old woman on disability, had to move. One of which was a van.

Eventually, a semi truck came up behind us and the people inside it were nice enough to help us move the cars (possibly because they couldn't go around like the other twenty cars that came our way, selfish assdumps). Then we called my grandfather who came with his truck and jumpstarted mommy's van and towed the other car away (couldn't get to its battery).

And I still made it to school on time. 8)