See the comments of flight attendants and crew listed below.
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want)
passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the
cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings..
If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
---o0o---
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone
voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
---o0o---
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on
a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after
a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
---o0o---
" Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your
seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and
pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't
know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite."
---o0o---
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
----o0o---
As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."
---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that
we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
---o0o---
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on
the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell
you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
---o0o---
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying
with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through
the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
---o0o---
Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section
on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
---o0o---
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising
altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and
gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop
from Durban to Cape Town, the weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a
smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence
followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you,
the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see
the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing.. You should see the back of mine!"
Thanks for reading, Tom.
Finally, let us eat. Please ignore my uncle's reaction, nothing to do with the food, honestly. :P
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