Think books based on video games are bad now? They were much, much worse twenty years ago. To prove that point Defunct Games has decided to create a weekly show called CYRIL READS NINJA GAIDEN. That's right, Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden, the show that brings you two chapters from the 1989 book Ninja Gaiden, written by A.L. Singer for the Worlds of Power line of Scholastic books.

In each episode Cyril reads two complete chapters, word for painful word. But it's not just a terrible story read back to you, it also includes Ninja Gaiden music, sound effects and an open letter to A.L. Singer, author of Ninja Gaiden. It's truly horrible, but that's half the fun of this 13 part show. Already there have been 7 episodes, but don't worry about catching up. Each episode only runs around 15 minutes, so it's extremely easy to punch out three or four in an hour.

New episodes of Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden are uploaded every Wednesday at Defunct Games!

CYRIL READS NINJA GAIDEN

• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 13 + 14
• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 11 + 12
• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 9 + 10
• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 7 + 8
• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 5 + 6
• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 3 + 4
• Cyril Reads Ninja Gaiden - Chapters 1 + 2

Yesterday I talked about heading to San Francisco to cover the Activision's media event, well I'm back home and just not going through my goodies and pictures. Below you will find several pictures I took from this event, each showing a different group of games and people. If you look closely you will notice a few GameSpot staffers, see if you can pick them out of the line-up. I had a great time, but I can't talk about too much of it right now (because the Activision people I partied with after the event would probably not like their secrets to get out). Enjoy the pics.

After two successful recent events (PAX and E3) I'm off to something very, very small. Activision is flying me out to San Francisco to cover their upcoming games. Well, not ALL of their upcoming games, only three: The Bee Movie, Tony Hawk's Proving Ground, and Spider-Man: Friend or Foe. I'm rather indifferent about two of those games, but I am excited to finally be able to play with the new Tony Hawk game. I would have prefered if Call of Duty 4, Quake Wars and Guitar Hero III were there, but I'm not in charge of deciding what's going on (so who am I to complain?).

Anyway, I'll try to take a few pictures. I'm sure GameSpot will have full coverage tomorrow (since they are going to the same event). Hopefully they give out some good schwag, THQ gave me three games last March when I went to their media event.

Sadly I'm only going to be in San Francisco for about 11 hours, I leave from Seatac at 7:20 in the morning and leave from SF at 8:20 pm. That's not a lot of time to do anything, which I'm disappointed by. At least I'll have enough time to pass out business cards for Defunct Games and get all my questions answered. Hope my plane doesn't crash.

This will probably come off sounding like I'm complaining, but I assure you I'm not. Today I received my official Penny Arcade Expo (PAX) 2007 media folder, complete with my badge, welcome letter, day by day guide and helpful map. As you can imagine I was extremely excited to dig into my PAX 07 media folder and find my media badge, I really wanted to see what the design was this year. Well, apparently those kooky kids over at Penny Arcade decided to use the exact same template that they used last year. Talk about disappointing.

There's something very familiar about this year's media badge. And what I mean by that is that the two badges look identical! Save the different look of the logo, PAX 07's badge is a real let down. Below are scans of last year's PAX badge and this year's badge, see if you can name all the differences ...

- 2006 -

- 2007 -

Despite my disappointment over this year's PAX badge, I am definitely excited about this event. Unlike E3, GDC and other recent gaming events I attended, PAX is right in my backyard. I'm less than an hour away from Seattle and will probably stay with a friend (so no need for a hotel). This makes the event super cheap, pretty much just the cost of food and gas. Sounds good to me. Also, a lot of my friends that work on other gaming sites are going to be showing up this year, which is really, really cool. I can't wait to party with all the people I've talked to online. The problem with this industry is that most of my peers live far away so the only time I get to see them is when these sorts of conventions come around. I'm definitely excited about that.

I'm locked and loaded and ready to hand out hundreds of business cards at PAX. So make sure and check out Defunct Games the week of PAX (and every other day for that matter) to experience a different take on the event. Hope this year's event is as much fun as last years. Fingers crossed.

As some of you know my site (Defunct Games) went to E3 last week. We worked extremely hard to get new articles, reviews and updates up ... and the E3 stuff is still coming every day. But before we jump into any of that I thought I would post my favorite E3 picture. This is a picture I took in the parking lot of Barker Hanger, where a lot of E3 tookplace. Not sure why, but this picture just makes me laugh. If you've ever watched G4 and thought that their hosts were a little slow and dimwitted, then apparently you aren't the only ones. I didn't dare take their parking spot!

Hello All.

I meant to get this up a few weeks ago but I've been extremely busy getting ready for E3 2007. Planning, planning, planning. Anyway, a lot of people have asked me to post the E3 Invite, since it has changed this year and fewer people are actually going to the event. As you see below there are several pages, so check out what it says and what it looks like. I'm impressed that they sent us an actual invite, that's a lot more than they did last year (or any of the other years I have attended the event). If you have any questions make sure and get a hold of me, otherwise just enjoy the scans. Oh, and make sure you check out Defunct Games for our full coverage of the event. (Just had to throw that in there!)

Heya.

So I realized, lately I've been talking about all these movies nobody has even heard of. So today I thought I'd swing back a little and talk about a couple that acutally made money at the box office. These might seem odd when put next to I Am Curious and Secret Honor, but sometimes you just have to break down and watch the biggies. See if it made me a better person.

School of Rock - imdb - d. Richard Linklater - There have been a lot of movies about influential teachers, most gunned down in a hail of cliches. While School of Rock doesn't not stay away from cliches, it still manages to be one of the most entertaining "teacher" movies I have ever seen. The story picks up with Dewey, an out of work loser (Jack Black) who lives with his friend and overbearing girlfriend. After being kicked out of his own band, Dewey is desperate to find people to play with ... but even more desperate to get money and survive. As luck would have it a local private school is hiring, and offer Dewey's roommate a job as a sub. Dewey takes the job without letting anybody know, and ends up trying to find his niche as a teacher. Of course, Dewey isn't a trained teacher and really doesn't know much about the process. After some trials with the class, Mr. S (as Dewey likes to be known) realizes that he can get all of the students interested in a single class project ... rock band!!

Noting the kids talents Mr. S finds things for just about everybody to do, from keyboards and bass, to the road crew, lights, and a manager (at one point even suggesting there should be groupies). If anything the movie shows how the power of music (and of course being part of a project) can really give a life meaning, and goes a lot of way to teaching. Thankfully the movie isn't just a big after school special, it's actually really funny and loaded with cool music trivia and references. Personal favorites like the Velvet Underground and Sonic Youth find their way into the movie, and no matter your taste, chances are you're going to like the message given in the music. Unless you're a X-Tina fan, then you're probably not going to like this. It's written by Mike White who wrote and directed Chuck and Buck, one of the strangest male bonding movies I have ever seen. White also plays in the movie along side Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, who gives you even more reason to hate her. Although this is probably Richard Linklater's least daring film, there's no denying that it's charming and a whole lot of fu. And if this doesn't make you want to pick up an instrument and play, nothing will! A-

Spider-man 2 - imdb - d. Sam Raimi - Say what you will, but I didn't like the first Spider-man. I didn't like the way it looked, I didn't like the special effects, and I didn't like how there were long scenes where two masked people were delivering lines and no mouths were moving. It just didn't do much for me, even though I like Sam Raimi and the cast was full of people I usually get a kick out of seeing. Having said that, I have to say that Spider-man 2 is not only one of the best sequels I have ever seen, but one of the best super hero films I have seen. This time around all of the problems I had with the original have been addressed, and they went beyond the call of duty for this one. Here's a story that actually feels fleshed out, it's a story that has several things going on at once, a movie that really feels so full of life it almost makes you feel bad for the original. There are a lot of things that are really refreshing about the film, too, including a villain who is not defeated, but rather understands his own fate. A super hero that is exposed to the woman he loves. And some of the best side stories I've ever seen in this style of film. There will always be people that nay-say hype, but as one of the largest skeptics going in, I have to say that I am convinced that Spider-man 2 is simply one of the best super hero films I have seen, and has set a high water mark that will be hard to match. A-

On a side-note: if I could talk about music for a moment ... one of the movies I talked about today was School of Rock which featured the always-entertaining Jack Black. Most of you have probably heard the Tenacious D album more times than you can count, so if you're up for something else, check out Trainwreck! It's Kyle Gass' side project, a country-rock parody band that is really a lot of fun, in a completely different way from the D. I'm not sure if they are selling the live album in stores yet, but you can get it off of their site, and I strongly recommend it. There are a few gems on it, including Rock (Responsibly), an ode to anybody who quits theirs job in the hopes of being the next rock god. Funny, funny stuff.

Trisetta Lilly Barnes

Heya Gang.

Well, well, well ... looks like we have another themed episode for you. Thankfully this time around the movies are the same time, heck, they're the same director. These movies were released one after another, one year apart, like Lord of the Rings. Of course, this didn't quite make a billion dollars at the box office, but it did create quite a stir! I don't know what to tell you, I bet this will be the only review of these movies on a game site! Thank you very much.

I Am Curious ... Yellow - imdb - d. Vilgot Sjoman - Here's a movie you might of heard of, but probably haven't seen. I Am Curious ... Yellow was seized at customs, and not shown in the U.S. until years later. It sparked a supreme court battle, and divided critics and fans alike. But what is it? Now that's a hard question to answer. To put it simply, while watching the movie I was reminded of a lot of filmmakers, everybody from Oliver Stone to Federico Fellini to Jean Luc Goddard to Michael Moore. This is not your average movie, but parts of it will look awfully familiar if you've seen the works of any of the people I mentioned. I Am Curious (both of them) tells the story of Lena, a 22 year old Drama student who is currently starring in a movie. In fact, she appears to be starring in the movie you're watching, well, you see, some of the movie is her in the character of Lena, the other parts are her in a different character (the real Lena). The movie has a weird way of switching between REAL movie and fake movie, and by the end you never really know what is the movie or what is not.

Lena is shooting a documentary about the troubles of 1960's Sweden. She asks countless people about the class system, about politics, about equal rights, about sex, about love, about everything. She, and her friends, are also gathering together and protesting certain places, mainly government offices and businesses. They make signs, count the number of days since the election, and so much more. Yet, while all this is going on, Lena meets a boy named Borje, a man we soon learn has a kid and a girlfriend. Lena is troubled by this, but ultimately doesn't mind sleeping with him four or five dozen more times. In fact, most of the movie has Lena (and her partners) naked. But none of the people are especially good looking, and the love making scenes are never erotic.

What sets I Am Curious apart is the way it's filmed. It actually has little games you can play while you watch it, and everytime somebody says a certain word something special happens. It's gimmicky, but fun to watch the different things they come up with. This certainly reminded me of Oliver Stone and some of the effects he employed in Natural Born Killers. The movie even pleads with you that you must own both movies, you need to buy both. Whether it's brilliant or pretentious is up to you, but I had a good time with it, even if I had a hard time watching some of the more graphic sections. B

I Am Curious ... Blue - imdb - d. Vilgot Sjoman - Blue is the companion piece to Yellow, a movie that was more style than substance, but also a fun movie. Blue is a little less fun, and doesn't quite have the style, but is still worthwhile ... for the most part. Blue picks right up with Lena, who is still asking questions and interviewing people on the street. She is frustrated by her relationship with Borje, who got married to his babies momma, and still working on the movie with the filmmaker (who is secretly in love with her). This doesn't exactly take place after Yellow, though, it actually takes place during Yellow, though I'm not completely sure all of it does. Still, it's more of the same, with a lot of Lena learning about herself and the world around her. This time she's more interested in sex and religion. High points are a scene with her and a catholic man talking in a car, the way she proves him wrong by only asking him questions he should have been asking is priceless, and worth seeing the movie for alone. There isn't nearly as much sex this time around, but some of the other problems I had with Yellow persist. The style that made Yellow what it is is here, but it's a lot more subdude. The movie doesn't play games with you, it tries to tell a straight forward story that isn't really that interesting. I feel for Lena, but her self destructive ways are only making it hard to sympathize for her. This is well worth seeing after you get done with Yellow, but not by itself. B-

Trisetta Lilly Barnes

Heya Gang.

I'm not going to kid you, today we have a theme, one you're going to pick up almost immediately. Not much else to say, life is what it is, people say what they will, you do what you can, and we're going to die sometime. That pretty much sums it up, no? Okay, let's kick out the jams ...

Nuit et Brouillard (Night and Fog) - imdb - d. Alain Resnais - Night and Fog is a 1955 French documentary that takes you back to the Nazi concentration camps ten years after the liberation. This is a haunting film, one that documents a lot of aspects of Holocaust life you don't see in other films. They get in depth about the different kinds of living areas, towers, and offices ... all while showing you then and now (well, 1955) comparisons. I won't kid you, there are hundreds of documentaries about Nazi Germany and these concentration camps, yet Night and Fog single handedly wrote the book on this genre, and is short enough (just over 31 minutes) to where you won't lose interest. There are some truly amazing moments, including a look at the various collections the Nazi's kept (which included everything from eye glasses to women's hair), as well as a number of stomache churning scenes, which depict some of the most brutal pictures I have ever seen. It's hard to not be effected by the images that are shown, and really, the movie is a masterpiece if nothing more than it gets its point across. This may be 50 years old, but Night and Fog can still make you sick and angry like no other movie out there. It's not something you will want to watch on a regular basis, but it is something people should watch, if for nothing more than education. A

Shadows and Fog - imdb - d. Woody Allen - I love Woody Allen, I've established that earlier my journal entries. But there's something unsettling about Shadows and Fog, a movie I really should like, but I just can't seem to. This is loosely based on a script Woody Allen published in his book "Without Feathers" called Death. It's a funny script, involving a man who really wants to go to bed, but gets suckered into hunting for a man who may or may not be killing people in the neighborhood. As the night goes on Woody Allen, Kleinman in this case, is forced to face his fears, and solve a few mysteries. This is basically what the movie is about too, but it adds a lot of characters and tries to flesh everything out. John Malkovich is one of the new characters, and there are cameos from Madonna, Lily Tomlin, and others. These elements work fine, but the simple plot is just unable to sustain this movie for the needed 90 minutes. It's a great idea, and it would have worked perfectly in a half hour short, but Shadows and Fog just isn't one of Woody Allen's better movies. C+

I bet you expect me to review John Carpenter's the Fog now, don't you? Well, you're just going to have to wait on that one, because I'm closing the book on fog movies for now. I still intend to do my Hallowe'en party, and I'm sure I'll talk about those movies when it happens. Until then, you'll have to live with yourself!

Trisetta Lilly Barnes

Heya Gang.

How on Earth do you follow up two holiday movies? With an obscure, but extremely violent "reality TV" movie. No, I'm not talking about the Real Cancun, I'm here to tell you about one of the best satires I have seen since Man Bites Dog. Read on and I think you'll see what I mean ...

Series 7 - imdb - d. Daniel Minahan - Although I found Series 7 completely by accident, I can honestly say it's one of those movies that has a deep emotional impact from the very start. I warn you, this is not a movie for everybody, but if you're one of those people hooked on reality TV (or just like to laugh at the people who love it) then this movie is for you! It's the story of five people who are picked out of a lottery to, well, kill each other. They are given a camera man and a weapon, and after that it's up to them to survive. Think of it as Survivor ... in one of those Grand Theft Auto games. But it's not dark and gritty, in fact, when you watch it you'd swear it was taken from the TV. It's bright, colorful, full of life, and is edited in such a way that you'd swear the people that did this also did the Real World (or any other reality show). But don't get me wrong, this isn't a happy story, it's full of interesting characters who are doing everything in their power to survive. The winner of Series 6 is Dawn, a pregnant woman returning to the town she grew up in. Other characters include a dopey husband, an old paranoid guy, a teenage girl, and a nurse with good aim. Like A Clockwork Orange or Network, this is an extreme satire on two things that have became far too common place: violence and reality TV. Like I said, this is not for everybody ... I fully believe that most people that watch it will hate it. But for those that see the humor, it is one of the best satires of the last ten years. A-

That's it, you only get one today ... but I'll be back tomorrow with another one. Too much other stuff to get done, but hey, you don't want me advertising that stuff here now do you? I didn't think so.

Trisetta Lilly Barnes