...but I like staying up late, and that's what I'm going to do tonight! :x

I'd really like to be outside though. It's so damn nice and perfect.....It'd be better if it was a little cooler though. :P

So anyways, despite having school tomorrow, I'm going to stay up. What am I going to do? Play video games, finish my geometry homework, read some of Edgar Allan Poe's stories and poems, and maybe watch some Silent Hill LP videos. Oh, and I might finally draw a cover for my binder...notebook. Yeah, my notebook that I use a a binder. Or something.

And we have no soda at my house at the moment. We don't have milk either. :cry: Currently I'm drinking some of my mom's dr. pepper from a fast food place, but it won't last me long. I'll be forced to drink apple juice or water soon. argh.

Also, I've been trying to keep myself from thinking too deeply, but it isn't working. Hell, earlier today I almost had a panic attack from it. It doesn't help that I keep getting more paranoid either. I keep thinking that my friends will just leave me for some reason, and entirely stop talking to me. :( Irrational, I know, but I can't help it. They have no reason to stay around me; there are so many people who could actually show them empathy and kindness. I was nice when I first moved here since I was young, hadn't thought much about anything at all, and hadn't talked to very many people. Now they see me completely different, and I'm not who they seem to think I am. Sure I have trouble being sympathetic and expressing how I feel, but I still have feelings. They shouldn't insist that I'm a heartless jackass. None of them can take me seriously either, because I'm always ****ing smiling for no reason. What the hell do I smile for? It doesn't matter if I'm angry, happy, or sad, I always seem to have a small smile on my face. It's like I'm entertained by anything that's going on around me or something.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Dammit, I should stop thinking before I get depressed again or say something I'll regret, if I haven't already...