No, it isn't what this reviewers' britches smell like after a marathon HALO2 session, a "Gamey" is a new award that I have just made up. They are awarded by platform and genre, with one exception: GAMEY GOTY! The Gamey GOTY is also special in that it entitles the development team to a free 'massage with happy ending' from Yours Truly.

Without further ado, here are the 2005 GAMEY Winners!!! Yay!

PC Platform
Best RPG: Guild Wars

Nothing beats a cool story wrapped up in MMORPG goodness. And for those of you who scoff, claiming WoW is tons better, here's the deal: I'll take the $$$ I'm not spending each month of subscriptions and buy more games. Next month: Darwinia for free (versus the recurring cost of WoW)

Best FPS: F.E.A.R.

What can I say? This game made me wish that the SNL parody commercial "Oops I Crapped My Pants" were for a real product. The controls are tight and responsive, and nothing else really wowwed me.

Best TBStrat: CivIV

Turn Based Strategy Goodness! I can not count how many sick days this one ate up. Wait a minute, yes I can: 3! My boss: "How many wisdom teeth do you have, anyway???!!"

Best RTS: Nexus:Jupiter Incident

This game is so unique that most people forget it is, at its heart, an RTS game. Choosing weapons for your ship oculd be easier and the freindly A.I. probably should be held back for remediation, but that's what the group command interface is for. Check it out-you won't be dissappointed.

Best Game I have yet to play (tie): Silent Hunter III, Warhammer 40K D.O.W.

Gotta Get'em!

XBox
Best RPG: Jade Empire

This is an awesome game with real-time martial arts that are much better than many brawlers, a rich character system and a really engaging story that does not feature metrosexual boys chasing froufy talking cats or other such nonsense. Only realistic nonsense here, thank you.

Best FPS: Far Cry: Instincts

This is the one that ruled them all this year. Sure, UC2: Liandri Conflict and BF2: MC are good, fun games but the primal powers! The storyline! The graphics! Only laggy online and spotty pop-up issues hold this one back from dethroning Halo2 as king of FP Shooters (at least console-wise for you unrepentant hermits).

Best Strategy game (unified genre): Dai Senryaku VII:MMT

This game is very complicated, but still easy to grasp. I find it easy to pop in a play for 30-45 minutes while I'm waiting for sonething (or someone) else. More complex than Advance Wars, it has a similar mechanic. My only wish is that the campaign had a mode realistic Tom Clancy-esque feel to it-the story isn't really a story at all. Oh well, it is $20 new!

Gamecube:
Don't have one, so no awards. Oh, what the heck!

Best GC GAME: RE:4 (the real reason why my son is getting a GC for Christmas this year)

PS2:
LOL! I have one, but it stays in my son's room. He wonders why I punish him by not letting him have the XBox up there. My response: playing crappy games builds character.

OK, the one you have been waiting for: GAMEY GOTY!

The finalists:
Farcry Instincts
Civ IV
Guild Wars

The GAMEY GOTY award goes to [drumroll] [/drumroll]

2nd Place: Civ IV

GAMEY GOTY: GUILD WARS!

OK, Arenanet employees: take a number and no pushing while in line.