Wherein you will find things that I hate.
Sometimes, you just have to blow off steam, and occasionally there is one thing in particular that is setting you off and you can rant for an hour and still have plenty more to say about it. Other times, there is a large selection of things that are pressing your various buttons and the best you can do is make a list. This is one of those times, and a lot of them are work related, or more specifically co-worker related. You see, I work around what can only be described as idiots….really, really lazy idiots. Each day is like bearing witness to a magnificent opera of stupidity. A train wreck comprised of moronic behavior and ridiculous conversations that can't possibly have any real value to anyone smarter than the average pickle. The worst part is that I am the sole audience member to this misguided farce and there's no real way to describe it in words. Also, it's entirely possible that perhaps I've said some of these before, but I can't be bothered to look back through my own blog to see what I have and haven't ****ed about in previous entries, so I'll probably end up repeating myself. I apologize in advance.
1) People who repeat themselves. This is here ironically for the most part and you shouldn't think too much into it.
2) Those who can't respect another's personal space… perhaps this is more of a cultural thing – I'm an American and I know we tend to be pretty picky about 'space' whereas in other parts of the world it's not a big deal at all. So, really – this is directed at the people who should KNOW better, but due to complete lack of manners or just an awkward understanding of what is socially acceptable. I work with a couple of people like this… they lean in over my shoulder too look at my screen… their arm casually draped over the back of my chair, their face inches from mine – I can hear their breathing – the slight grunt as they hold themselves doubled over to look at my screen as if it is imperative that they read for themselves what I'd be happy to relay to them in conversation that does not require the awkward, and occasionally downright disgusting closeness. In fact, I'd prefer just copying and pasting it to an email and let them read it for themselves. In their office. Far away from me.
3) People who smack their gum. This sort of goes with the above item. I don't mind chewing gum – it cuts down on bad breath, and I'm ALL for that. (More on that in a minute) HOWEVER, is it really necessary to keep loudly popping it within your mouth? The constant clicking noise created from the tiny air bubbles forming and consequently popping in the globule that you are rolling around in your mouth is not at all charming. This, combined with the above is enough to just make me snap.
4) Halitosis. There's no nice way to tell someone their breath is similar to a stagnant pool of rhino piss. Bad breath is one of my biggest pet peeves, whether the cause is truly halitosis, or simple laziness in the morning and not brushing your teeth – this is easily dealt with via gum, altoids, mouthwash, tic tacs, mentos, or any one of the other thousands of products developed for this one specific purpose. If you're too lazy to deal with it, then leaning in over my chair for some issue you claim is work related is well beyond your scope of comprehension and actual ability in terms of productivity. Your plants are dying in Farmville, kindly **** off and tend to them and leave me alone.
5) People who want to talk to me about religion. Don't. Just don't. Don't argue with me how evolution is just a theory – don't print out Wikipedia articles that support your views and shut out scientific ones. You believe whatever you want to believe whether it's Jesus playing drums on a t-rex or a flying spaghetti monster - and I will not interfere, mostly because I just don't care – and I expect the same courtesy. If you push me, you will not like what I have to say. You will be insulted, and I still will not care. There are two things that should never be discussed in mixed company, money and religion.
6) People who discuss money. As I said above, this is one of the two things that should never be mentioned in mixed company, and even amongst friends it can still come off as rude and pretentious. If you want to go and talk about all your millions of dollars, that is your prerogative… but in my experience, if you have money, you don't talk about it… there are any number of reasons for this, but I feel one the most prudent is simple courtesy – you must bear in mind that there are many people that are not as fortunate as your bad, financially savvy self, perhaps they've lost their job, or they're living paycheck to paycheck struggling to keep their lights on. Likely, they're like most average citizens and have a job, and make enough to live on, but still must move within their own budgets… and occasionally there might just be someone that actually knows what you are trying to talk about, and has called your bs out already in their head, but they won't say anything because – well it's rude to talk about money. You never know - Rubbing your wealth, or all your super awesome investments in anyone's face is a pretty **** move, and while it may make you feel impressive, it's not. It's something more along the lines of fishing for compliments which is obnoxious. Oddly enough, there is a flip side to this coin… you can yell from the rooftops that you're broke as a joke and that is somehow okay. Weird. In any case, If you want to show off, I suggest you play Monopoly or go to Vegas.
7) Apple. I have a problem with Jobs stubborn refusal to allow flash content on the iphone. I partly understand the reasoning since Apple is all about their proprietary blah blah blah and don't want anything 'extra' installed that might usurp use over native programs whether by force, or simply because it's superior… ahem… *cough*Googlevoice*cough* – but why couldn't they just make an 'app for that'? I don't care how 'antiquated' he says it is – it's still a massive part of the internet, HTML5 or whatever is not widely used yet, next gen or not. If you invent the car, you don't ban the horse and buggy right away because it's old technology. I bought my iPhone roughly 18 months ago. My contract is up in October or November, and I will be leaving it behind. It was a great phone for awhile, but the tech coming out of Apple is like blood from a stone. You get a drop every now and then, but man – it's just not enough, especially when other phones are leaving it in the dust…. Meanwhile HTC is throwing out the Evo, which is any tech junkies wet dream. There is no way in hell Apple will put that much tech into one phone when it can milk it out over several generations. I know people that have bought all 3 versions of the iPhone for the latest and greatest – how ridiculous is that? You drop hundreds of bucks on a phone that sports a few minor upgrades from your last one, never mind the monthly bill. That is NUTS. I've bought one, and the last 3 or 4 months has been excruciating for me. I like my phone – but it's limitations are becoming increasingly apparent, magnified by its ever weakening battery and the dropped calls, slow network – yeah. When my contract is up, my apple affair will end. I seriously do not like Apple products.
8) Blatant laziness. I cannot stand people who manipulate and BS their way through every day, and really do nothing but sit on facebook the entire time… worse is seeing them rewarded for it. It tells me that the people in charge are just as lazy as the ones holding them up and eventually it will all fall to me as it always inevitably does. It's always me quietly working in the background, forced to take up the slack while these "managers" reap the benefits. I am very vocal about my feelings on this to my manager, and he is aware of this situation, but does nothing outside of telling me that I'm intimidating the other managers. Manager. They love saying that word – like the more they say it somehow makes them more authoritative. The majority of these people just arbitrarily stuck it on their business cards, and took themselves seriously. Corporate America, folks. This is where common sense comes to die. I no longer make efforts to hide my disdain for the majority of my coworkers; they make their false smiles which earns nothing from me beyond a silent and minimal acknowledgement. You want smiles and pleasant fuzzy feelings? Go watch Sesame Street. I'm an accountant.
9) Anyone who complains about their situation, but does nothing to even ATTEMPT to change it. Obviously, not everything is in your control, and maybe there's nothing you can do, at least as far as you know – but why not try anyway? If you're not happy with something, then do something about it. If nothing comes of it, then at least you can say you've made an attempt and that's better than just blindly accepting whatever it is and sticking yourself in the endless catch-22 that's making you miserable in the first place. Max out your options… THEN you can ***ch. The obvious exceptions are when doing anything will result in your immediate injury and/or death of course… but how many of you are currently being held captive by pirates? Yeah thought so.
10) People who repeat themselves. This is here ironically for the most part and you shouldn't think too much into it. Also, 10 is a good number to stop on.