Here is another list of people that just throw my nuts in a blender:
1. The Cacophonous Unit . This is someone who has absolutely no control over the volume of their voice regardless of the situation. Full grown adults that, for all intensive purposes are otherwise fully functioning – speak in tones that could be heard over an explosion. You know how in some social situations, say at a party – the music is so loud you're screaming at your friend to talk, and then for whatever reason the whole room suddenly gets quiet and it's just you screaming "…that's when I realized I had no pants!!!" That… but constant and deliberate. When in doubt, use your inside voice.
2. The Bamboozled Personage. No matter how many times you attempt to explain something, no matter how often – it never sinks in. You can give them a written step by step guide, complete with graphical cues and arrows and yet they can't follow it to save their lives. They'd get lost in a hallway with one door clearly labeled 'Exit' and then blame you for not making it easier for them. I work around people like this, I KNOW JohnSteed7 does too. Read pretty much any one of his blogs and you'll see what I'm talking about. It's one thing to be stupid, it's entirely something else to blame someone else for it.
3. The Delusive Exclusive. These people will never admit to reality, regardless of how obvious their lies are, every time you run into them – they've been on a grand adventure; which by the way you won't ever get to experience because of how much better at life they are then you. There is this need to constantly point out that everything they have ever done is over and above anything you could possibly fathom. It's a contest and you've automatically lost because you're opponent is them. Even though you have no idea you're IN this contest. You can tell this person you went on a cruise through Alaska with your family a few years ago, it was nice and you'd like to do something like that again someday… and their response is "that's lame... I went on a cruise around the world last weekend, but I had the whole ship to myself and my own personal assortment of super models with which to have tons of sex with" That sort of thing is amusing for awhile, but as the claims begin to ramp up it gets harder to keep yourself from telling them to get help for their pseudologia fantastica. Or, for the less concerned – just telling them to STFU.
4. The Insufferable Divine. This one probably gets to me more and more as I get older. If there's one thing I don't like - it's other people poking their nose into my business, and worse when they attempt to police my actions based on what they claim to "know"- there is something intensely arrogant about anyone that even attempts to curtail a complete strangers actions or words due to any level of discomfort on their own part. They're always looking for a debate, ready to prove that they know truth andyour inability to think exactly as they do is nothing short of the devil. This applies to fanboys/fangirls of pretty much anything, including various hardware and/or gods.
5. The Picky Nugget. These people can derail any event in which you find yourself dining out. I would not go so far as to included myself on a list of the mostcultured men of the world, however I enjoy other cultures, learning other customs andI don't shy away at exotic cuisines - even if I am horrified. I find it to be astonishingly rude, you don't have to partake, but behave as an adult should. You're a big girl (or boy)now, politely decline and move on. This applies to any instance wherein someone just outright objects to something different, but this term I apply specifically to the dining scenario. You can say "we are going out for sushi" and even invite them along, if you must. You get to the restaurant, order some sake and maybe a couple of rolls to get everyone started -then The Picky Nugget decides they don't like raw fish - and regardless of explaining that sushi is not comprised only of raw fish, and they are, in fact, thinking of 'sashimi' - the damage is done, and they are now demanding chicken nuggets or something else from a nonexistant kids menu... and a root beer because that goes great with sushi rice. Congratulations, you're now babysitting.... Oh, and no - no matter how far down you slump, your server can still see you.
The last one has a bit more vitriol as I spent most of last week on a business trip with a collegue whom I have absolutely nothing in common with outside the fact that she and I happen to work for the same company. Lunches were fast food (which I almost never eat) and dinners comprised of me trying to wade through subpar Mexican food or extremely overcooked steak, while she ordered chicken strips or the equivalent from each menu. I would have wine or a scotch with my meal - she would always order root beer. Not that there's anything wrong with root beer - but it immediately gets me carded. Looking at the situation one more time, there's a guy eating what was supposed to be a medium rare steak with a cabernet and a girl, who has ordered fried chicken bits and root beer.. in my mind, as a former waiter I see potential for two things: 1) Either both are underage or 2) The female is EXTREMELY underage.... and then I feel like Chris Hanson is about to come around the corner and tell me to have a seat... right over there. I should say that I don't BLAME the girl for her tastes... some people are so picky they just never really expand and maintain the palate of a five year old - really, the only bad part is that it makes them incredibly annoying to take to dinner - particularly when you don't have a choice.
By the third evening, having had enough crappy fast food lunchesand hotel restaurant faire- I state that I am going for sushi, and offer her a generous amount of money to treat herself wherever SHE would like, knowing that my destination would be way under what she would consider consuming. She took the money and bounded off while I returned to my room to shower and unwind before dinner. She caught me in the lobby and decided she'd rather come with me because "it's easier"... The example given above is more or less how it went down, except it was just her and myself - I ordered sake, she said "ew gross, I just want a root beer" which they don't have.I then got carded... again... so, while the server was off making sure I wasn't on any wanted lists, I pointedmy coworkerto maki rolls that were all of the 'American-Safe' variety (pretty much anything with the name of a US city or state in it)while I indulged in some sashimi which is what prompted her to declare an all out ban on sushi forever... and then order chicken strips... Which sushi restaurants DON'T ******* HAVE. I then got to listen to whining about how gross sushi "probably is" for the next 45 minutes while trying to will myself into a coma. She had plain rice and a pepsi.