Hell. Population: Me.
Most days, I have my gmail running in the background, it's one those things that keeps me from flying off the handle as I can vent to whichever one of my friends is online. Or just BS with them a bit…This girl has been a friend of mine since high school, she has since been married and has a young kid, and although she is well aware of my disdain for people that can't meet me at a bar, she still tests the waters with me every now and then, and my reactions generally are not what she expects – which sends her into a blind rage… this amuses me. I've deleted most of her name, and censored the few parts that require it, but you can use your imagination. Also, since it's copied straight from gmail, the spacing is a little odd and I couldn't be bothered to fix it. My powers of apathy are formidable indeed.
T: what are you up to this weekend?
me: I don't know.. probably sinning in some way. Your god will NOT be happy come Sunday morning,I can promise you that. What about you?
T: har har. I actually wanna clean funny enough
me: you are always cleaning
how is it you have to always clean?
T: no..i always say Im going to and get sidetracked by other people. and Im always needing to because I have a kid. kids can be messy
10:57 AM me: see? I've been saying that all along. You people never listen to me… so why don't you just clean up after her then.. like… immediately? Or at least rub her nose in it… or whatever.
T: because something always comes up and I never get to just be home and Im not an ocd about the cleanliness of my house like you are. And screw you by the way.
like last weekend
free and clear calendar
me: then... NINJAS!?
T: and 9 pm fri night I get the call...love my water broke
its time
ugh
me: what? Like a pipe in your apartment?
The **** are you talking about?
T: my best friend had her baby.. she was calling me
me: gross
10:58 AM T: how is that gross
me: babies are gross.
children are gross
all the way up until about 21-22
and sometimes they're still gross. I know people in their 50's and 60'swho are gross.
oh… and you telling me about your friends water breaking, thatis also gross.
11:00 AM so, you're "free and clear" calendar actually had you scheduled to clean at exactly 9pm, but then someone's bodily fluids leaked out of them and you had to fly to the hospital to witness the miracle of god breathing life into some goo
11:01 AM PRAISE JEEBUS
T: whats it like to be so ****ing hateful?
me: it's not bad
the hours are great, and no one ***** with you
11:03 AM T: oh...how nice for you
me: =D
T: **** you. Seriously
me: oh please – what do you expect from me? Ooh's and aww's? have you not been paying attention for the last, what? 12-13 years? ****.
T: touché.
11:05 AM me: damn skippy.
Aaron – 8,497,292 T - NOTHIN'
T: shutup.
She signed off after that. I can't imagine why… but later she came back!
3:28 PM T: what is wrong with people?!
ugh
me: the shorter answer would be to list what is right
3:29 PM so far this is what I've come up with:
1) Some of them have girl parts.
that's it.
and 99.999% of the time it's not enough to save them.
3:30 PM T: :|
why do I even bother with you?
me: beats me lady… must be your blond hair and inexplicable attraction to my pants.
T: do you EVER ****ING STOP!??
me: you know the answer to that. (it's no) =D
3:31 PM T: ugh.