This is not your daddy's rubix cube. Oh wait.... yes it is.

So I got to thinking today about all the stupid crap I used to do as a kid.

Mostly because I came across an article about how toys in previous decades, by today's standards would be considered weapons of mass destruction by many of the modern day mommy's and daddy's out there. By comparison - I suppose there is some truth to it.

I never wore a helmet riding my bike around, knee pads? What for? Remember Pogo Balls?

No? Well then you probably suffered a head injury while using one. I know I did.

This makes me think that maybe my toys were the tools of my stupidity. I mean, c'mon... Lawn Darts?

Ages 8 and up, because remember kids: It's not a felony until you're 18!

So I guess the message is figure out who you don't want to see at your high school reunion by the end of 2nd grade. Then you'll have at bare minimum a solid 10 years to stick 'em.

Not that I wasn't able to overcome my desire to misuse these sorts of objects - I was never one for violence, but I have to say the temptation was there.

Don't even get me started on croquet mallets.

I had a chemistry set, which I guess was standard issue for strapping young men at the age of 6, just discovering the delights of chemicals.... And seeing what happens when you mix them together randomly. All I remember is the brownish stuff and the grayish stuff mixed in the water together and heated make the little glass beaker explode.

So, surrounded by all these tools of idiocy - what do I do?

I did what every kid did. I played with the box until I got bored, then tied a towel around my neck and ran around outside.

Here's where things get blurry though - I (somehow) got myself up onto our roof, and with the clever use of an umbrella, jumped off. I remember being surprised on my way down that I was not floating gently to the ground, but rather crashing into it at roughly 80,000 miles per hour. Instead of learning from the experience - I figure I must have done something wrong. MAYBE.... If I just had a running start.

Yes. Great idea. :roll:

So once again poised on the roof, I prepare to launch myself. I count my steps backwards, *bonus!* I'll be running down at an angle, so there's some extra speed for me. It was about that time my mom came looking for me, as she had neither seen nor heard me in 10 minutes, which meant I was up to something.

I never did find out if the running start would have helped me or not. I expect it would have.

The point is kids are going to do stupid stuff all the time. Some of them, like in my example above, more than others, and more often... Hell, I STILL do a lot of stupid stuff - yet the degree hanging on the wall in my office says I have an education and am supposedly above trying to propel myself down a hallway in a rolly chair with a fire extinguisher. HA.

Anyways - what brings all this rambling up is on my lunch break this afternoon, I went to grab a sandwich at this place not too far from my office. Good food and they have an awesome outdoor patio with the misty cooler thingies. I love those. Anyways, what compounded my thoughts on my childhood and the stupid crap I did was this: as I sat at my table munching away, mother and kids come up. Kid 1 wants to race Kid 2 to the door. It's all of 10 steps from their *groan* minivan.

Then mommy chimes in with all the wisdom of a misspent youth.

"Do NOT race. You'll fall and skid your knee then we'll have to go to the hospital and you'll get an operation!"

This was not said in jest. She was literally SCARING her children out of racing. Is this what modern parenting has come to? Traumatizing the kid so they'll never move faster than their favorite stuffed animal?

I didn't catch what else she said on the subject as they had made it inside without killing themselves, and successfully placed an order with no casualties. They exited, and sat at a table behind me. My back was to them, but at least one of them was getting antsy... Not content to sit quietly and enjoy the nice safe meal before him, he asks if they can go to the park and play on the swings after lunch.

Before you go "awwwwww! Family moment! Get the camera!" - bear in mind who is doing the writing here... I don't DO Kodak moments.

"Absolutely NOT! You'll get TETNUS from those CHAINS!"

Really? Tetnus. Why not throw some polio into the mix? I had a screaming case of the bubonic plague just last month from a swingset. I thought it was this stripper GodMode sent me, but no.. it must have been the swingset. :evil:

I understand the parental instinct thing I guess - don't want the kid to go fall down a well - but damn. If you don't want to take the little seed to the park, that's fine. Say you can't. You're busy. With other more important things. At least then when they're in therapy 20 years from now they can just say "mommy didn't love me." At the rate those two were going they're not going to know what's going on. "My mommy loved me a whole lot... but she really hated parks.... And anything made out of metal."

"What?" says therapist Joe.

Yes. I just referenced blind date. Shoot me.

That kind of control over a kid is just going to make them into one of those people... the ones that just go beserk at college, finally free from the overbearing parents - they drink themselves stupid then end up on a *insert gender / group of people here* gone wild' video.

I guess I'll never understand the thought process behind this kind of parenting... my mom kept as close an eye on me as she could - but she couldn't be there 100% of the time. That's just life. I made plenty of mistakes, scraped my knee, burned myself on the stove, came home covered in mud, and I ran around barefoot in the rain.... No this isn't a country song. I did all that stupid crap and lived. I had FUN. Why can't they? I CONTINUE, as I said earlier, to do stupid stuff and manage to survive (and have fun)... maybe it's BECAUSE I poked dead things with sticks and played football in the street. Who knows where my awesome powers come from? Not me.

So, rather than subject myself to being witness to the murder of someone's childhood - I sprung into action.

That's right. I did what I do best.

I got up and left.

Another victory for apathy! Huzzah!

And now..... Monkeys.

One more item - One of our fellow Gamespotters, KellyMae has been banned. I'm not 100% on the reasoning behind it - something to do with an homage to George Carlin's 7 things you can't say on tv, but twisting it to poke some fun at Gamespot.... frankly - even if she had typed it all out word for word in it's original uncensored entirety (which I'm positive she didn't) - considering how often she posted, and the general polite tone of the majority of her posts. I think banning her was in the excess. Yeah I know the ToS agreement and blah blah blah - no need to get all crazy quoting e-scripture at me. Or throwing the potential precious snowflakes that could be viewing such horrendous content. I'm just saying that given her usual demeanor a full out ban seems more a needless retaliation than a well-reasoned moderation. Gamespot gets a LOT of traffic, despite being, by FAR one of the most restrictive sites I can think of. Considering that in this same window I can unleash a torrent of boobage with a couple of clicks - a few asterisks here and there seem pretty mild. Even if they are making fun of the great and powerful Oz.

*spooky sounds and fire*