Every now and then, I streamline certain aspects of my life. Call it a life laundry, a spring clean or a relapse. :D Either way, it's therapeutic, and has become something of a ritual over the last eight years.
Currently, I'm at that stage again. Looking at where I am, and need to be. What I'm grateful for, and cutting loose from all the rotten stuff, which has outstayed its welcome. On the face of things, there's A LOT, which should have been thrust into the heart of a black hole, sooner rather than later. :D
The running theme is that I've lost my edge and need to get it back.
The main 'problem' was being around the wrong people for the last four years. I won't go off on a neurotic, 'woe is me' rant. However, I realised that certain long standing friends were emotional leeches. They were stuck, performing the same counter productive dance, designed to keep each other down.
I got tired of the apathy. Not that I'm an attention seeker, :D but despite my genuine efforts, the sentiments were rarely returned. Sometimes doing the right thing wasn't enough. Either way, it was a source of agitation and subjection, and I'm glad to be away from this particular dynamic.
Around four weeks ago I decided to move on. Overall, the right decision was made. Difficult for a spell, but the alternative is much healthier. I'm slowly enjoying myself again, getting life back on the upswing and revisiting old tastes. The scales have been tipped for too long, and it's good to regain the feeling of self worth.
This week, I'm starting a new phase. My surroundings are always the first port of call, and then it progresses to hobbies and gear. I've already bought a new tv cabinet, and want to purchase some book shelves. The aim is to purchase any sort of item to improve my current lifestyle, and build from there.
In terms of music, I want to revisit some old artists whose work I used to love. Musical tastes have also been neglected. Recently, it's been like putting all the pieces back in the puzzle. An aspect of my life that I've missed.
Ultimately, I'm blending the old with the new. Hitting the reset button to a degree, while embracing a slightly newer direction. Cutting out all the habits and routines that were unfulfilling, and focusing on what really matters most.
The balance is getting restored.