Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing more I want than someone I used to love at least stick around and still be someone I can talk to. But...really, is it a wise move? I mean, last time I was friends with an ex, we ended up making out for a couple hours before she went back to her boyfriend. Seriously, it was an awkward freakin' moment, and one that hurt like hell too. But on her behalf, it would've helped a lot if she told me of said boyfriend. Then you got the insecure boyfriend who finds it blasphemous for his new woman to still talk to her ex as a friend, and makes it his sole purpose in his life to cut off all communications. I've been through it all, people. So what I'm saying is, I'm more comfortable not running into people I used to date, not having a conversation about current events than looking at a woman in the eyes and have shellshocked moments like some Vietnam veteran about epic moments that will never be forgotten, but at the same time never will happen again. Seriously, everytime I think of the past about stuff like these, I have the urge to swallow pills and put a pistol to my head. I've been working myself to exaustion in the bakery just so I don't come home and cry myself to sleep. I smoke about two packs of cigarettes a day because I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I pound shots and pass out to ensure that I don't do something stupid to myself out of drunken paranoia. To tell the truth, I don't want a woman, I never did ever since the dawn of history in my life. I fall in love with a woman in the same comparison as how sh*t happens in life. I can't control my urges just how you can't control the rain stopping after you wash the car. And it doesn't help that the entire f*cking resturant has to pry into my life about every thing I do in life outside of work and somehow manage to make it worse. Seriously, I love my job, but at stressful times like these, I want time to cool off. Know what I'm saying? I want to take a vacation in China, buy a hooker, get laid, get wasted and for a few days just leave my damn troubles behind. So like I said, I don't mind being friends with ex girlfriends, I just don't think the concept is a wise move. Eventually, something is going to happen, emotions get hurt, and we end up being bitter enemies. I know. I've been through this like five times already. And just like history repeating itself, history repeats itself over and over again, and the same tragic ending occurs. I apologize if segregating myself from this sounds cold in the eyes of all of you, but it's the only surefire way I know of that won't result in me falling in the same rut twice.