I was with my friends the other day, and for some reason, we were discussing Bill Gates and how this guy is so rich, even when he loses billions he's still the richest guy in the world. One thing after another, it led to what we would do if we had that much money at our disposal...of course everyone would think materialisticly, but I'm the creative one: if I had all that money to burn, I would be the ultimate bastard to the world.

1. I would pay Richard Simmons to come back on T.V.

2. I would buy out Hollywood, and have every movie directed by the dreaded Uwe Boll.

3. I would have my money converted into foreign currency, and give it to the homeless.

4. I would make William Hung re-make Aerosmith, and have a radio station dedicated to that crap.

4. I would buy out Viagra and Cialis, and add laxatives to the mix.

5. I would buy out the porn industry, and cencor every video.

6. Hell, I would seize control of Sony and Microsoft, and switch the exclusive games. (well, to piss off the fanboys.)

7. I would buy out the toilet paper industry, then shut it down.

8. I will hire the most brilliant scientists to craft the largest, least-harmful explosive, then cherry bomb the entire sewer system.

9. I will hire a select team of brave astronauts to fly into space, and carve an ass on the moon.

10. I would buy out every greatest musician in the world, and pay them to suck.