first, something must be explained. My mind didn't grow with my body, so I'm really still a thirteen year old in a fifteen year old's body, even if that's the case, I'm supposedly really smart and I'm ahead of fifteen years of smartness. But, my mental maturity development halted when I was struck down by depression at the age of thirteen. So things that shouldn't scare someone of my age and smartness do end up scaring me...I don't really know the details, but what I've already said might explain it.

Anyhow, using that as a catylyst for my next point, we saw the full metal alchemist movie today, which several have probably seen, and we watched and watched. And then the Nazi secessionists began attacking the world that Edward and Alfonz originally inhabited, world of alchemy and whatnot. Those crushed human suits of armor, tainted by crossing the gate, REALLY FREAKED ME OUT! I'm saying! dead men walking, completely zombified, but still seeming like living because of the limited mobility of the armor they were wearing! literally, live men walking in dead suits of armor, or vice-versa, I don't know how to explain.

But the next part might spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it and want to, but I'm not going to take the care to change the color.


That part nearing the end, when Edward left Alfonz and the Flame Alchemist on his original world, and commandeered that weird thingy to go back to the non-alchemy world, that was all good, and thus far I had only been creeped out by the suits of armor people.

Anyway, when his ship arrived back on the non-alchemy world, and that tainted.......thing came out, I actually thought it was Edward, and when I saw what it was seeing (the movie showed it) and heard it's labored breathing, and saw the shape that his body was in, I began to lose it, then, after Hughes shot the being, and it was revealed to be...whoever that was, I still thought it was Edward, and several events just made me completely lose it, the fact that he had crossed worlds and survived the tainting somewhat, only to be shot and killed, and the fact that he had been struggling so much and...ugh....I don't know what to say

But, regardless of the fact that it turned out to be not Edward (though I haven't figured out who it is), I just lost it...

Remember how I said that my mind stopped it's maturing around the age of thirteen? and that things usually, which didn't scare me, really, really did. So, after all that, after anime club, I came home, took a shower, and then lost it all the way, and I'm afraid to admit, I actually cried, which I haven't done for a while, and it was just too much for my mind to handle...especially considering my depression reached a new peak last night.

So, right now I'm a nervous wreck...and my brain was hurting just too much...I needed someone to talk to, and this is the place on which I know the most people.

After looking back at all that, I realized I was typing in some sort of reverie, and I feel a lot lighter...kinda like those lifted a load off things...

Let me just say, it was just too much for a mind like mine to handle, and I need someone to talk to

Zim