Have you ever had trouble with your children not listening?

Mom: "Timmy, go to your room."

Timmy: "Shut up! You're not my real mom, Laura! My mom lives in Santa Monica! I'm just visiting dad!"

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Have you ever had coworkers who just wouldn't listen to reason?

You: "I'm telling you, Jim. Lucas just said that Anakin was Darth Vader to solidify the release of a prequel trilogy!"

Jim: "Then explain why he tells Luke he's his father."

You: "I don't need to, you gotta understand that Darth Vader could never have loved Padme like Anakin did!"

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Have you ever decided that you were right, and everyone else just needed to shut up?

Mom: "Timmy, go to your room."

Timmy: "Shut up! You're not my real mom, Laura! My mom lives in Santa Monica! I'm just visiting dad!"

Mom: "Okay, time to get the device..."

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Hi, I'm Dudeman McLeod, and you might remember me from such films as "Nothing," or "Nothing II: The Return of Emptiness." And I'm here to show you a new means of negotiation with...

*brandishing weapon* ...the new XTR38000! A.K.A. "board-with-nail-in-it." The XTR38000 will make people forget the words, "you're wrong," or "shut up," or "hey, that's my papaya, give it back." It will also make them forget their middle name, what peach tastes like, and how bad the Ubisoft conference was this year, but mostly just the first thing. The way it works is IMDTech's patented "Ouchie-Stick." What it does is simultaniously drill a nail into someone's head, while beating them with a stick!

So, buy the new XTR38000! Don't just shut 'em up, shut 'em up forever! More fun than a barrel o' monkeys!*

*Note: IMDTech neither partakes in nor supports any monkey, barrel, monkey-barrel, barrel-monkey related activities, or anything else monkey or barrel related. It's just a slogan. Get off my back, PETA.