Well, ladies and gentlemen, everything I love on my computer is gone.
Lemme tell you a story 'bout a man named "Dude". Bravest man around, with all the 'tude. Then one day it would come to be, that all his files would be just a memory. It was a virus, you see, that destroyed his crap. And now he'll have to get it all back. If not for the Trojan that took his stuff, he'd be writing bad scripts about guys that are tough.
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But seriously, folks, here's what happened:
The actual cause of The Incident is yet unknown. It may have been a torrent of a TV show (I won't say which one, though), it may have been the recent installation of Sims 2, Seasons and Open For Business (that may not have been entirely legal...), or it may have been something I picked up while simply surfing the internet. The point is: it ruined my life.
It installed something called "Malware Defence", which I automatically knew was a fake anti-virus-that-was-actually-a-virus. On the first computer, I was busy uninstalling Far Cry when the entire system shut off. When it came back on, there was a message saying (I may be paraphrasing, a little): "WARNING, MOTHER****! YOU GOT A ****IN' VIRUS, DICKWEED! YOU BETTER USE OUR OBVIOUSLY FAKE ANTI-VIRUS SOFTWARE TO GET RID OF IT, ASS-HAT!" After that, nothing worked. We couldn't use Task Manager, because it was greyed out. Everything we tried to open resulted in an (obviously fake) error message saying that it was infected. Yeah. Task Manager is infected. Sure. So, we turned the computer off, not knowing that we could never turn it back on. It managed to override the initiation protocol which gives you the Windows XP loading screen upon startup. Nothing worked.
So, we got out my old computer. Hasn't been used in a year and a half. I was unbelievably happy when I saw the cool abstract wallpaper I used to see every day. I was unbelievably worried when I realized that my huge collection of porn was going to be in plain view of my dad ("we", remember?). But most of all, I realized that I had Sims 2 on here, and it wouldn't have caused all of the problems it did on the other computer. Not only that, but I had all my old custom content, as well. It was wonderful to imagine what adventures would soon unfold in Simland. And also, the little "adventure" I would have to go on to get rid of my porn. Which is sad, too. I had quite the collection :(
Of course, that's what I THOUGHT would happen. But as soon as my dad was finished doing his crap: setting up the internet, uninstalling things that I enjoyed, etc., I went on to find that, somehow, my computer had been infected by the same thing as my dad's. Proceed to blow head off... now.
He spent the rest of the morning, and all of yesterday, trying to get rid of the virus before we had another Incident. He slept two hours last night. I felt very sorry for him, seeing as how I apparently caused it, and all. But he did try to fix it. Unfortunately, I wasn't awake as that process was underway: and I know he saw most of my porn. Thankfully, he's probably the coolest dad alive, and he didn't say anything at all. Everything remained exactly the same. I love my dad.
*ahem* OK, lets try to make this a little more manly, shall we?
I believe most of the virus is gone, except for the Internet Explorer hi-jacking, which is causing the IE process to keep coming back to life, even after I kill it numerous times. On an ancient old bucket of a computer with 256 RAM, having unnecessary processes open is never a good thing. It's not all the horrible, though. The only thing it's really doing is supposedly "coming to the top" every few minutes, and my typing is halted suddenly. It's certainly a nuisance. At least it's not the annoying "Malware Defence" thing, which mysteriously added three porn website links to my desktop. Which is really the calling card of every trustworthy anti-virus program. I must have been pretty smart to suspect that it was a malicious instance. Who would look suspiciously towards an anti-virus program which adds porn links? Wow!
So, that was the newest blog. I know it wasn't really a "reformatting" ("R Word", remember?), but it was close enough.