Wow. I really haven't posted a blog in a while. Not counting that thing about a key, because I doubt anybody would notice the little Easter egg-clue thing that I left. And not counting the signature help thing, because I went ahead and designed a new, personalized sig, anyways. And I was going to post my eulogy on here, but I already did on the OT and the Writer's Lounge, so what would have been the point?
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I don't really have anything to say, truthfully. I turned 15 on the 6th, and it was basically the worst birthday ever. I'm still quite upset about that. And I'm probably going to be spending the Christmas weekend with my cousins, who are very nice people, but are entirely different from me. I can imagine that weekend, now...
Them: So, what kind of music are you listening to?
Me: Well, I like heavy met-- *remembers relatives staunch Christianity*... nothing in particular. I really don't listen to music all that often.
Them: What else do you do?
Me: Well, I watch a lot of-- *remembers that they don't watch TV*... videos... on religion. Yep. Not freaky sewer monsters and hot FBI agents, but God. Yippee.
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Not only do they mostly not share my... rather Godless lifestyle, but one of them is... is just awful. Her name is Trudy, and she's one of those judgemental old Catholic chicks who wag their finger at you no matter what you do. Even my parents hate her. The comical part of it is that she's... like, a nun, or something, but she acts like a Jewish mother. "What, you can't cut your hair? Oh, why should you cut your hair, anyways. It's not like you care about God. Oy vey!"
I have come to the conclusion that I am a nerd. After several years of trying to avoid that, I've accepted it. I hang around here all the time, I'm a gigantic fan of Fringe (at least it's not Star Trek!), I have no contact with the outside world, I spend half my time sitting at a computer, I come up with ideas for sci-fi stories in my free time (all the time), and, to top it all off, I joined a Fringe-themed forum RPG yesterday. I'm not entirely unhappy, but I do loathe myself. Yippee.
I am trying desperately to write a TV script. What for, you might ask. I know, it most definitely will not be picked up. It probably won't even be read by anybody important. But it's something I want to do. Unfortunately (wow, something unfortunate happening to me), I have no ideas. I wanted to do something like Fringe (shocking!), but I realize that everything I come up with will be thought of as "Fringe 2.0", or "X-Files 3.0". So, I started trying to change the formula a bit. "Maybe," I thought. "I could have the main character be a reporter, instead of a cop." I continued in this foolish way for quite some time. In fact, I'm still trying to pull it off in some way. But I always get sidetracked by... well, by daydreaming, essentially.
Ahh, dreaming. I've been wanting to start lucid dreaming, but it ain't working. I tried the stupid, "count yourself through your hypnagogic state" method, and failed. I tried... well, OK, that was the only way I tried. But I failed, that's the important part. I have been starting to dream more often, though. Last night, I had two dreams. One was... well, it was odd, to say the least...
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I was in some kind of supermarket, but the place was completely packed with people, some of whom I recognized. Hardly anybody real, of course. I remember that Walter and Peter from Fringe were there, as well as Kate, and TWO Juliets from Lost, which was weird, because I don't really find Elizabeth Mitchell all that attractive (I'd still hit it, but...). There was some kind of event going on, and everybody was taking food off the shelves. Some were eating it, some were throwing it. It was really cool. I had this... thing going on. I could kind of "skate" across the floor, but I wasn't wearing skates. It felt awesome in the dream, I remember that. While I was skating, I found some guys from the supermarket I actually go to. It was... odd, to say the least. They were not even the better-looking guys, they were the really ugly ones, which still wouldn't explain the fact that they were there at all. I "skated" on past them... I think I kissed one of the Juliets, at some point. But the Kate... she was a ****, I think. I eventually found my mom and dad (because who wouldn't, when they could go back and make out with actresses?) at some point, in the vegetable section. My mom was getting coffee from one of those bean-dispensers, and my dad... he was being exactly like my dad would be. He was standing around, not really doing anything or talking to anyone, with his arms crossed. I was standing next to my mom, and I had these jalapeno peppers in my hand. I started throwing them up in the air, and my dad came along, telling me to "stop it". So, he walked on, and I started pelting him with peppers. I remember that there was a part outside, too. The Dream-Kate was outside, and I was looking around. All the building were grey, and the area was pretty foggy. I was kind of focused on Dream-Kate's low-cut top, though :roll:
The other dream was... different. It was some kind of store, because there were people standing around, but it was all dark. My mom was in the bathroom, I think, and there was a display of Rock Band and Rock Band 2 in the corner. I dragged my dad over, and started playing, while he said, "hurry up!". None of the songs were actually in the game (come to think of it, none of them were by real bands), and I put the guitar down, starting to walk away. There were some albums on a table next to the display, and I looked them over. I think there was a Dream Theater album, an Iron Maiden album, a Metallica album (with two songs, neither of them were actually real), and a Symphony X album. I bought the Symphony X album, and I was happy. Then I woke up... and I was sad. But, I fell asleep again, and had the awesome dream in the supermarket. So I was happy again! But I remember that the albums were some kind of setlist for the two games. I remember thinking (and possibly saying out loud, too!), "yeah, right. Symphony X in a Rock Band game. That'll happen REAL soon."
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I realize that nobody wants to hear about my dreams, but I think that at least the first one was pretty awesome. I wasn't lucid, and I didn't have any control, but it was probably better than something I could have imagined. The weird part (but wait, there's more weird parts!) was that neither Anna Torv nor her character appeared in my dream. It's weird not because of... you know, the "crush" (according to everyone else), but because of the fact that I fought a guy over who was hotter, Anna Torv or Elizabeth Mitchell. Obviously I picked Anna, but here was EM's character in my dream. x2, no less! Maybe it's got something to do with the fact that I finished Lost two days ago. Yeah, that's probably it.
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Wow, I must just be boring the crap out of everyone here (all one, maybe two of you)! I'll stop talking about my pathetic dreams, and move on to something less boring.
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Did I mention the Christmas thing? Yeah? OK.
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What about the nerd thing? I did? Alright...
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The dream thing was definitely boring you? Fine...
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I have nothing on the horizon. Fringe returns in three weeks, I finished Lost two days ago, and I'm not entirely satisfied with Alias. Yes, the only things I USUALLY have on the horizon are TV shows, how sad is that? Dexter finished a few days ago, so I'm done with that. House is mysteriously absent this month, not that it really matters, I'm hating this season so far. I'm having a major case of writer's block, and I'd so much rather be asleep than awake that I'm trying to beat my own brain. Oh, yeah. I've succeeded in my life. I can't even just start playing some games, because I'm too broke to buy any. My whole "feeling bad about my birthday" thing? My dad said I was getting a new computer, and I was very excited. But, obviously, it didn't happen, and I'm still using my dad's 2002 bucket-ass old box. The worst part is that he keeps promising that we'll soon be in a position to buy it. Supposedly infallible plans all manage to fall through, based on weather, or black-outs. It always seems to be the same couple of excuses, too, and that's what's so vexing. It's like we're on the Lost island. I know that our lives suck, and I've made peace with it. But my dad is like Bernard in season three: "Oh, we can make it off if we do this! We'll get rescued by planes and satellites!"
Well, that's pretty much everything I've got going on, now. Nothing interesting, nothing even mildly entertaining. I understand that there are children starving in Africa, and people dying in Iraq, but I honestly couldn't care less. I find it amusing, though, when people say I'm selfish. Everyone is equally selfish, some people are just more courageous than others, and immediately bring up the terrible way it affects them. Others around say, "how could you be so selfish", and I'm just saying, "admit it, you thought about yourself first, too. It took you, like, twelve things in your head before you settled on saying that you felt sorry for the other guy." I'm a little... well, actually, I don't feel anything for the hundreds of people dying in Iraq and Africa and whatnot. I didn't know them, I didn't know if they were pedophiles, or murderers, or whatever. Everyone else is just putting on an act if they say that they actually feel sad about those people, because we didn't know them. We can't feel sorry about people we don't even know, because we've all got enough or our own damn problems, we don't need to find other people's. How did this get on to me being a monster? Hmm...
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Not to dredge up the dream thing, but I really am confused about why my parents appeared in both my dreams. I can do absolutely anything I want in a dream. Bang actresses, kill aliens, fly, whatever. And I'm standing in a store with my dad? I am too lazy to even dream myself up something awesome that I'm doing. I wouldn't be surprised if one night I dreamt that I was asleep.
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*sigh* This must be the most boring, depressing, odd and insulting blog post ever.