I don't care where a supermarket places their stock, as long as they put a big sign over it so I can find it. If a store wants to put beer beside the nappies - fine; it won't increase their sales (they don't stock nappies in my size) but as long as I can find the beer I won't grumble. I say this because on Friday I spent fifteen minutes trying to find the canned pineapple to go in my sweet-and-sour pork. Was it with the canned "vegetables" – you know the tomatoes and the sweetcorn and the peas? No. Was it with the canned fish? No. The deserts, the fruit juices, or the fresh fruit? No. Nada. Rien. Back and forth I wandered, checking and rechecking the shelves; if Tesco stocked Holy Grails by the dozen, then Arthurian quests wouldn't have been any less challenging. And the longer I searched the more panicked I became. Finally, in desperation, I wandered the frozen food aisle. And there, on a "mezzanine" micro-shelf above the freezer chests, was the canned fruit: the Pineapple above the frozen ovenchips. Fantastic Tesco. Abso-bloody-lutely fantastic. Try investing in some signage please.