So here's my dilema: the job centre have instructed me to apply for a job which rakes in £30-grand a year for 37 hours a week. Sounds great doesn't it?

But I can get by on around £10-grand a year as I have no car, kids or mortgage. And as I'd rather have the free time, why can't I work 12 hours a week and get paid £10k per anum? (Actually, I'd opt to work a little longer so I could swap the hour of walking, waiting, trains, more waiting and buses for 20 minutes of motoring.)

It's this unaspirational mentality that keeps me stuck on the outside applying for jobs I'll never get while the baboons knit the .NASTY security flaws.

Fortunately this particular job requires knowledge of "mobile devices", and I don't even own a mobile phone, so I feel my chances of getting it are selnder. However I may not be so fortunate with the one piled underneath it. :(

* Thanks to Telkiar for the fabulous title. As my long-standing friends know, I could never be baboon in a suit because, even though I can be a baboon, I don't own a suit.