I've gotta say, with the dawn of the next generation of gaming upon us, it's Nintendo's Wii that kinda has me questioning where things are going. Innovation sometimes means more than technical superiority. It's more a matter of creating. It's a slash-and-burn risk in which what's considered commonplace is cast aside for new ideas. That's what this industry is all about, isn't it? It's supposed to be.

Say what you will about Nintendo's history, about its meandering, and occaisonally paltry Gamecube sales, about its utter change of direction in sales demographic, Nintendo is still innovating. Still creating. I believe that Nintendo has always been the forerunner for presenting new ideas to the public, for better (DS touch screen) or worse (Virtua Nintendo). I do believe that such a gutsy approach to this industry is crucial, and I find it comforting to see.

So, I must be quite pleased with the Wii's new and (hopefully) intuitive control system. Such a new and improved style of play mechanics, as it is, I must be very keen to see what it will do. Well, I gotta tell ya, no, I'm not. I'm not happy to see it. I don't like it, in fact. I do believe that motion sensitivity is a good direction to go in, at least in theory, but I don't like these hare-brained remote-swinging ideas. I'll tell you why. When I was a kid, I played a lot of video games. I was to video games what Keith Richards was (is?) to drugs. I was a very dedicated user, let's say. My small circle of friends back in those days, some ten to fifteen years ago (how old am I?!) would exhaust our Super Nintendos with NHL '95, Mortal Kombat, Final Fantasy III, you name it-we played it. Here's the catch, though. When we were on our seventh hour of play, and our eyes were borderline on bleeding from so much gaming ("Visine, I need Visine!"), our moms sent us outside. Whoa. Easy. What a concept. Our parents intervened and took a few minutes to raise us. Now that's innovation. At least in our current society.

I appreciate the fact that although Nintendo was trounced in sales the last time around, they still choose to really put some balls into their production and risk everything with a control system that has never been seen before. I appreciate that Nintendo is charging hundreds of dollars less that Microsoft and Sony are for their next-gen installment. I will always defend Nintendo as the purveyer of original gaming ideas. They have me in their corner there. So, why am I against this system?

Because I think that physical activity should remain physical activity. In fresh air. With rocks, and grass, and trees, and a potential to skin out your knee on any given day. Childhood should involve lots of antiseptic. If you want to swing a tennis racquet, I don't think you should have to replicate the motion in a video game, in your living room. I believe that you should go outside and swing an actual, tangible tennis racquet. Swing a sword? My friends and I would have red arms from whacking each other with plastic swords. That was way more fun, trust me. Did anybody else have those cool He-Man replica swords? Remember those? You could get the He-Man version, or the Gray Skull version? Now that's swordplay.

I hate to break it to the docile, lazy parents of today, all of those fresh-out-of-the-gate parents who see babies as accessories for Starbucks moreso than they see them as their own offspring, but you can't have your kid raised entirely in front of a TV screen. It seems like a good idea now, sure. They're happy, and you're happy, but when they're pale and sixteen years old they're going to frigging hate you because they'll all have rickets, and terrible bone structure.

I want to see my innovations in gameplay. Not in physical strain. Not in the sweat on my brow.

Playing video games is supposed to be about sitting still, and not doing anything. That's what has always made them beautiful. If you want to play Dance Dance revolution all day, then fine, but personally I'd rather buy some Jojo CDs, and some really dark drapes that are difficult to see through, and bust it out in my bedroom. That's how I do my dancing.

So, you Nintendo fans can enjoy your Wii, swinging imaginary weapons at essentially imaginary monsters. I'll sit on my ass and play Final Fantasy XII until 4 in the morning with chip crumbs all over my chest. Chip crumbs from the day prior. That's how games are supposed to be played.