The Internet now has everything real life has, including line-ups! In order to prevent server overload, the freshly-launched Quake Live beta site employs a queuing system where users watch a message reading "You are in line. Position in queue: 33046" [actual number taken as I write this] slowly counting down your gradual entrance to the free (a.k.a. advertiser-funded) browser-based fragfest game site.

But let me back up a bit.

A week ago, I check out the Quake Live site I have had bookmarked for months to see if anything is new. Instead of the long-standing page announcing closed beta testing, a teaser splash screen states that Quake Live is launching for open beta on Feb. 24, 2009. Cool! I always seem to miss launches and usually only hear about these things weeks or months later-this is something I want to follow. Something I want to be a part of.

The morning of the 24th the splash screen has a countdown timer in the top corner, ticking the seconds down to the 7 p.m. EST launch. I keep checking in from work, growing in excitement for the launch of Quake Live. It's been years since I've played an id game, but I remember spending huge chunks of high school and my undergrad playing everything id from Commander Keen to Quake II. Quake Live could reintroduce me to id where I left off: Quake III: Arena, the foundation for Quake Live, and I could try to resurrect my long-deceased deathmatch skills.

I get home from work at 5 p.m. and try to rush eating supper, washing dishes, and caring for my 6-week old son (I know, I am a rotten father) while keeping an eye on my browser as the seconds tick down to launch. I manage to finish cleaning up and I pass my boy off to my wife and I settle in at the computer with 2 minutes to go: 2:00, 1:45, 1:30, 1:15, 1:00; 0:45, 0:30, 0:15, 0:10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. And then...

Nothing. I refresh my browser. Still nothing. I refresh it again. Nothing again. I check Quake Live on Twitter for updates. Nothing. Nothing's happening. So, I figure I'll go make my lunch for work tomorrow.

When I come back, at last, the site is live. Live, but slow and refreshing poorly. It takes several attempts to get the site to register my user name and password. Then, it takes a few more attempts to get it to accept my newly registered user name and password. Then, at last, as I think I am about to give Quake Live a try... I am placed around 10000th in line to get into the site.

I wait. I watch some Iron Chef. I check on my son. My spot in line doesn't really move. I try refreshing. My browser crashes. I try logging in again. Now I am placed 22000th in line. My son starts crying because he's hungry. I give up on Quake Live for the day. I go to bed.

My son wakes me up at 5:30 a.m. to be fed. I feed him. He falls asleep again, and then I think that no one will be on Quake Live at this time in the morning. Now's my chance! I try to log in: 3000th in line. Still in line, but it's a comparatively short one. Before too long, I am finally in!

I choose my character. I choose my controls and settings. I load up the test match that determines initial level and then... my son wakes up and starts crying again. I tend to my son. I feed him some more. I get him settled back down. By the time I get back to my computer, my browser has an error message. I must have taken too long to start my match! When I refresh, I am logged off Quake Live and have to log back in again. Again, I am placed in the queue. Again, I give up, as I have to get ready to go to work.

At work-not that I would ever play video games at work-I try to load up Quake Live, just so I can see what it's like for a few minutes. I log on. I am placed about 30000th in line. But, as I am at work, I let that sit in the background while I get some work done. After being highly productive for an unspecified amount of time, I finally make it to the front of the line, and I am in, and then... for some reason, my browser glitches and has to shut down. Foiled again! I don't bother logging on for the rest of the work day, but just check updates on Twitter now and then.

I get home, almost resigned that I won't be playing Quake Live this week. I place my laptop on my kitchen table, get in the Quake Live queue and then I get to making an elaborate supper while the queuing systems moves me through. In the hour it takes to make supper, I move from 30000th to 1965th and then, according to the Twitter update, Quake Live goes offline for half an hour.

By this time, I've been trying to play Quake Live for over 24 hours. It's past 8:00 p.m. EST on the 25th when I try logging on again. I watch Iron Chef while I move through the queue once more. At last, I'm in! My browser hasn't crashed! Quake Live hasn't gone offline! My son isn't crying! Here's my chance!

Once more I load up the test match. The training bot, Crash, welcomes me and tells me to follow her and... my mouse doesn't work. The keyboard works but the mouse doesn't. I can move forward and backward, and I can strafe, but I can't turn. Or fire. Crap.

I check out the forums-I see that other people have the same problem, but not consistently, and no solid solution is offered. I reinstall the Quake Live installer, restart the computer, and try again. Still the mouse doesn't work.

In a last ditch effort, about to give up, I try loading Quake Live through Firefox instead of IE. I go through the steps of loading the installer for FireFox, waiting in queue once more, and starting up a test match, expecting to have the same dead mouse (deadmau5?) problem as before.

But this time, miraculously, it works. I am in! After 26 hours of trying to start playing, I am in and playing Quake Live! (Who in their right mind would ever spend 26 hours trying to get a console game to work?) Or, at least, I am playing the test match. I manage to reach the advanced stage of the obstacle course by pulling off a rocket jump, something I'd never tried or even known of back in the day. I'd only ever heard of them. I only just manage to best Crash in the test duel. I am given some ranking based on my performance that will help Quake Live find other players of comparable skill to match me up against. I have no idea what ranking I receive. I don't see any numbers or a title like "flailing amateur" but I imagine that's about where I rank..

I'm not ready to play against a live player yet, so I play a practice match against a bot. Again, I only just gain the upper hand by the time the match ends. Before I can play against a live opponent, my son calls for a diaper change.

But now, at last, I have played Quake Live. And I ask myself: was it worth the 26-hour wait? To be a part of the early Quake Live experience, yes, it was worth it. The Quake Live site has some really cool stuff. It's apparent that id is going all-out with its sponsor-funded fan-service here. There are stats, leaderboards, achievements, ways to track down friends and opponents, forums. It's impressive what's being done. But I'm starting to remember why I stopped playing id games after Quake II in the first place: I got bored of FPS deathmatches. Spawn, Stock up, Kill, Restock. No diversity. No story. No character development. The only FPS I've even played since Quake II is Portal, and that's specifically because it breaks so many of the genre's conventions.

So, even though I feel the wait was justified, Iask myself, will I continue to play Quake Live? My answer is that I'm not sure. If I don't, it will have nothing to do with any lack of quality in the game, the site, or id's efforts. I commend id for what they are doing, and I am incredibly impressed. People who enjoy deathmatches will freakin' squeal over Quake Live. If I don't continue to play Quake Live, it's because, even after nearly a ten-year hiatus, I'm still just not that into deathmatches.

Oh, my son's crying again. Gotta go.