Foreword : This is my own paraphrasing of a chapter of a book called Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. While I will be covering the same topic as in the book, it is in my own words. I felt the information was powerful stuff, and I wanted to share it, and by writing it in my own words, it helps me cement the ideas in my own mind.
Questions are floating around all the time. We ask questions of others, and they ask questions of us. What is thinking? Is thinking the act of presenting the brain with a question, and then looking for an answer? I believe that is a pretty good distinction. Many questions are asked and answered unconsciously.
The main topic I would like to cover is asking the right questions. The quality of the question we ask ourselves, particularly during challenging times, can change the quality of the answer.
Imagine for a moment you have lost your job. Perhaps you start asking yourself questions like "How could this happen to me?", "How am I going to live?", "Why does this always happen to me?". The thing about the brain is that it will look for answers to those questions. It will start looking for reasons to back up those questions, even if the question was silly. Perhaps your brain might answer the question "How could this happen to me?" with disempowering answers like "Well, I'm not that good at the job", "I always have bad luck" or "I'm just not supposed to be happy". What a set of disenchanting answers! But what if you had asked yourself a different question?
What if you asked yourself "What opportunities are open to me?". Perhaps "What other firms could utilise my skills?", or "How can I maximise my potential?" Those questions are much more likely to turn up more positive answers, leave you in a better and more productive state, and lead you to taking more positive actions.
What can make a question a bad or disempowering one? Presuppositions with negative or limiting connotations certainly affect the quality of your answer. If you ask yourself "What's wrong with me?" the presupposition is that there is something wrong with you. You are no longer considering whether something is wrong; you've already built the idea that there is something wrong with you right into the question. Turning those presuppositions around into positive ones is an excellent way to produce quality answers. For example, in the question above "What opportunities are open to me?" presupposes that there are opportunities out there, and that you have the skill to identify them.
An example of a person who asked positive questions despite the challenges in his life is given in the book. As I do not have the book with me at this point in time, I don't recall his name. However, he was in what most of us would consider a tragic accident. He fell off his motorcycle, which then exploded, and suffered multiple injuries, not the least of which were severe burns to three quarters of his body, including his face. After the accident, he asked himself questions like "How can I contribute to society?" "Is there anything I can do now that I couldn't before? Can I use this to my advantage to help others?" He went on to run for congress, and his slogan was "If you vote for me, you know I won't be just another pretty face"!
As if that trial was not enough, he was later involved in another accident and became a paraplegic. While in the hospital, he was attended by a nurse. One question ran through his head; "How can I get a date with her?". Where many people may have asked questions like "How could this happen to me?" and "What will people think when they look at me?", he wanted to hit on his nurse! And you know what? A year later, he married her.
Another example of a burning desire to have a question answered occurred during the Holocaust. Upon arriving at the camps, he asked himself and others, "How can I escape?" Others scoffed at him, and said there was no escape. Anyone who tried was killed. While he stopped asking other people, he still constantly asked himself, "How can I escape?" It didn't matter that no-one else shared his conviction. He kept on asking, looking for an answer. Eventually, he saw his way out. He saw a cart loaded with naked dead bodies. When no-one was looking, he stripped and jumped into the pile of dead bodies. He remained still for hours until he was dumped into a mass grave. He waited until dark, then ran for his life. He managed to escape because his question presupposed that he could escape, he just had to look in the right place.
This change in the way you think about questions doesn't just apply to the ones you ask yourself. It also applies to the ones you ask other people. Sometimes if someone asks you a question, you might be able to replace it with a better question. Perhaps instead of asking someone "What's wrong with you?" if you notice they are down, you could ask "How can I help you with your troubles?" which should turn up a much more effective answer. If you catch someone asking the question "Why does this always happen to me?", you can offer them "How are you going to improve your life from here?"
This doesn't just apply to turning negative or limiting questions on more powerful ones. Sometimes you can change a single word to turn a decent question into a powerful one. Which one sounds more powerful, "What am I going to do today?" or "What am I going to achieve today?" It may not be a huge difference, but it is certainly noticeable. To close this out, I'll offer a question you might want to always keep handy; "Is there a better question?"