Today was the day of the True Love Waits Seminar. It began at approximately 3 PM and ended at approximately 7 PM. Two speakers presented to the people who attended about a topic concerning sex.
There were no more than 25 kids or so, ranging between the ages of the 7th grade to the 12th grade. Once again, I was the oldest kid at the seminar, being the only 12th grader.
Nonetheless, the seminar was great. It was very educational, both statistically and spiritually.
One of the most important facts stressed during the seminar was that sex is an actual blessing from God. Believe or not, God's first commandment upon the world was to be "fruitful and multiply", encouraging people to have sex as long as it is in God's favor. Therefore, having sex casually and foolishly viewing sex as "recreational" is extremely discouraged. God created sex, and therefore it is a blessing.
In addition, males and females usually have different perceptions on sex. Females are intentionally created by God to have this certain hormone that draws attraction towards their spouse, as well as blurring their memory during sex. Their personalities are also based on emotion. On the other hand, males have the testosterone hormone, which causes them to be much more sexual than females. Moreover, males are very dependent on visuals. This is why males have an uncontrollable tendency to remember the moments of intimacy or excitement with their past partners while they have sex.
Honestly, the seminar was rather awkward for me. Talking openly about sex, their consequences, what sex was truly meant for, STD's, safe sex, homosexuality, and even pornography. The overall theme is - what I believe to be - that sex is a blessing from God, Himself, and that one's sexual purity is to be cherished.
I seriously regret tainting myself... I can't believe Jesus is so loving to the point that He will heal and forgive others despite the seriousness of their sins as long as they repent. It is surely amazing and wonderful... Although it cannot be undone and perhaps even inevitable, I wish I could change the past. I have committed a serious sin against God and I have even hurt my future wife. My heart is literally filled with guilt and regret each time I think back to it.
Oh God, rend my heart and purify me. I intend and promise to keep pure from this point in my life; to salvage what little purity I have left - if any - and to offer it before my future wife and to You.