I wonder about this word often nowadays. I don't know why but this word sounds so good to me. Reminiscing about your past, I mean everyone does it right? I feel like telling a story. I knew back then everything I do must be perfect and if I fail, I would never face myself later. Well how foolish of me. I always considered myself as a perfectionist who pursues perfect for every single thing that I do. I realize that's exactly opposite I am. I am not perfect and I can't be perfect. I guess I knew that before but I now finally know that I don't want to be perfect. How boring it would be to get things done perfect and dedicate every single second of your life trying to achieve the status as a "true perfectionist".

Like I said, I've been reminiscing sometime now and I realize that I don't want to be perfect. Why? Just one word, hopeless. There is no hope because you just know. You just know what's coming and everything can be foreseen. I mean think about this. If you have no hope, not even one tiny hope, is that the life worth living? Is it the true way of spending one's life?

If I would asked to choose between being perfect yet hopeless and being sloppy yet hopeful, my pick will always be the second option. Hope is one of many things that drives me and without hope, why do I even bother to breathe? Reminiscing about my past gave me the new perspective of life. Maybe this is just all trash and I will regret saying this when I wish I could be perfect. But deep in my mind, I will never forget this moment.

This moment, Monday March 17th 2008 2:39 PM, I am so happy.