He is the man, the myth, the legend...

Or at least that is what we are making him. I have read numerous posts and blogs about how "evil" this man is. How he is ruining games and the industry, but I disagree.

Now before you post with seething rage that I disagree let me explain why. Look at the industry now from just a few years ago when it was still "underground" and nerds ruled the video game landscape.

Kotik is just a scapegoat, a face to the change we have all noticed over the years. He is saying what most of us fear and that is that video games are a business. It is here to make money. But this wasn't as prevalent before. We didn't have the "casual" gamers or the trophies to slake our unquencahble thirst for recognized accomplishment. I remeber when games took longer to finish, secrets abound and replay value was something to consider in a games overall rating.

The evil CEO that we all despise is one of many but he laid out his business plan and it shocked us into realizing we are consumers, we aren't special and we are just a faceless number to them. I found that honesty refreshing. I didn't necessarily like his message but it made me think about things on a broader scale.

He said that he wanted to charge more for games and people were outraged, but look at some other reasons for this other then greed. I know a handful of people who have hacked systems and download games illegally, not to mention Gamestop's policy of purchasing just enough to cover preorders and then waiting to resell used games at exorbitant prices thus taking money away from the developers.

People complain about his ideas on Guitar Hero but look at sports games. They are all the same game with a few adjustments and an updated roster, I would think by now that would be easily taken care of as DLC but people still pay the $60 dollars for that every six months.

In the end Kotik's ideas are not new he just happened to open many peoples eyes to an escalating problem in the video game community. I don't agree with him but I can't blame him for doing what works.

Over the years I have played many games and have become used to suspending my disbelief. As I go through my list I will be looking at these weapons as if it were a real world situation (to some hilarious results I hope). Anyways, I ramble, lets just cut to the heart of the matter...

Number One:

Keyblades.

Now you might think, wait that could really mess someone up if used properly, and I agree. But look how Sora uses it, the blunt side is the blade and it doesn't really instill fear. He looks more like hey just recieved the key to the city for rescuing a kitten or something. And is it just me or does everyone and their mother have a keyblade these days. I thought it was hard to find a person who could wield such a "weapon" in the Kingdom Hearts universe.

Number Two:

Wakka's Blitzball

This one is from Final Fantasy X and one of my favorites. I mean this is about as dangerous as a game of dodgeball that has become a little too serious. And talk about non-threatening, I mean sure it might sting a little but there is no way someone can get up enough speed to actually kill you. But wait you say, what about the ones with spikes and stuff? What about it, you try and hold something the size of a basketball with giant metal spikes and throw it as hard as you can. I guarantee you are going to stick yourself.

Number Three:

Bodily Fluids and Gas.

Boogers, farting, belching sounds like a regular night out for a redneck but this is the arsenal given to you in the SNES game, Boogerman. The worst this guy can do is give you pink eye. Sure he can hock a loogie and fling boogers but come on at least let him use the shaft of the plunger as a beat stick. But wait you say, that stuff is hilarious. Really? Is it still funny, how old are you?

Number Four:

Vacuum.

Many characters have used vacuums as weapons (Luigi, Mickey Mouse, Mega Man) and they are a terrible means of defeating a foe. Grab your vacuum and turn it on. Now put it up against your skin, mildly annoying right? It isn't killing you. But wait you say, they had really powerful vacuums. Looking from a realistic standpoint, you wouldn't have something very portable and be strong enough to lift or move things with suction. The Ghost Busters have it right, use awesome beams of energy to subdue and a vacuum to capture.

Number Five:

Gunblade.

I have mixed emotions on this one. Things I think are awesome in video games: guns, check; swords, check; sword and gun combo, check; a sword that is also a gun, wait what? the Final Fantasy series is known for its unique weapons and battle systems, but what were they thinking with this one? But wait you say, he stabs people then pulls the trigger. Trying to aim that thing would be nigh on impossible and trying to cut someone with out pulling the trigger would be difficult too. You could just use a gun and a sword, then you have long range and short range taken care of. I mean that sounds familiar, like another character has that...oh yeah, it's Dante from Devil May Cry.

Well, that is my list. Don't get me wrong, I have at one time or another played these games and enjoyed most of them, but if i were to ever actually need a weapon to defend myself there are far more practical things out there.

Thought I would list my most frustrating encounters.

Number One:

The Demi-Fiend

Yeah, this is an optional boss for Digital Devil Saga and he is ridiculous. He summons new enemies everytime you kill one off and for every three he does an attack that will instantly kill you unless you are asleep, if you are lucky. There are plenty of videos on youtube of people defeating him, a lot of it based on luck.

Number Two:

Omega Mark XII

This is from Final Fantasy XII, and is categorized as tedious. When I can leave and come back 15 minutes later and still be fighting that is just wrong. And the Japanese version has 10 times the health as the US one. Just remembering the time to make sure my setup was right makes me cringe.

Number Three:

Any boss from Prinny: Can I Really Be The Hero?

Really it's any boss near the end, the difficulty just sky rockets. This game can be brutal, the ninja boss if left to the end is horrible. It took me hours to get down her pattern and then successfully beat her since you only get three hits. This game is unforgiving.

Number Four:

Sigma

Another boss that took me awhile to beat. Now I know I could have looked it up online but I like to try and beat them on my own... or get beaten. Over and over again. This was back when almost all Mega Man games had me in fits of rage due toa miss timed jump or running out of lives, losing my books of passwords with the blue dots or the numbers. I think that added to the frustration, because if I could have just loaded when I messed up I may have been a happier child.

Number Five:

Baal

This one I finally beat after 200+ hours of gameplay. You might think that excessive and you would be right, but it is an addiction only NIS fans know. It was more of a challenge to figure out how to level up efficiently and have Baal chasing around another character while I chipped away at his health then anything else.

Well, that is my list. I am sure there are plenty of other bosses and enemies I have blocked out of my memory but these are the one that slipped through. Just looking at the pictures makes my hands ache with the memory of hours spent destroying these demons.

I have a tattoo of the tir-force on my left forearm...I would post a pic but I am at work right now. I am thinking of getting another one on right forearm.

It would be minus the text. Tell me/show (if appropriate) what you have or have seen.