So, the writing in the blog thing didn’t work out like I thought it might.  I never added anything new about myself.  Well, today I’m going to change all that.  Today I’m going to tell you more “about me” and I thought I start with my user name – Boogyshnoog.  It’s pretty stupid.  I know.  But there’s a story behind it. 

Turns out, it’s an inside joke.  When I opened my account with GameSpot I tried to use a bunch of different names.  Some were personal, most were funny, yet none were available.  Every stinkin’ one I tried was already taken…even Gilligan Zile!!  Can you believe it?  Anyway, I don’t know exactly why, but suddenly the name Boogyshnoog came to mind when all else failed. 

You see, years ago, more than ten now, a friend of mine had a girlfriend and for reasons completely unbeknownst to me or anyone else, they came up with these “pet names” for each other.  One of them was called “Oogy Boogy” and the other was called (you guessed it) "Boogy Shnoog".  Of course they’re no longer together anymore and in fact they’ve moved on to other relationships (one of them is even married with four kids).  But back then we used to kid my friend all the time about that stupid name.  Man, it was hysterical. 

So, now flash forward more than a decade later, and there’s me.  Riffling off hundreds of possible user names in vein.  And finally, perhaps because of the lateness of the hour, I don’t know, when the idea of using my friend’s old pet name hit me, it was just about the damn funniest thing in the world.  Seriously, tears were like pouring from my eyes.  “Boogyshnoog!!”  I said to myself.  “Yeah, Boogyshnoog.  You totally have to use that!!  It’s so damn fuuuunny!!”.  Of course, now a year has gone by and I still have the stupid friggin’ name.  Boogy Shnoog.   Not quite as amusing today I can tell you.  Oh well, what are you gonna do? 

So anyway, that’s me.  The guy who tried too hard to be funny.  And ended up with the Worst.  User.  Name.  Ever.  Probably should have stuck with MarioFan1267.  But I didn’t. 

More to follow…

Lately, I’ve been thinking about adding some personal stuff to this journal thingy. Why? I do not know. Yet, the desire has bubbled in recent weeks. Normally my intuition serves me quite well and perhaps in the coming days, weeks and months I’ll add a thing or two here. So, today let’s start with this…

I’ve been eating a lot of pickles lately. I’m not sure why. Don’t get me wrong, I love pickles. It’s just normally I’ll go a week, a month, who knows, and never touch a pickle. And yet, in the past few weeks I’ve been gobbling them up like I was a crazed pickle zealot. I currently have two favorites. Vlassic baby dills and Claussens. Neither is better than the other, yet each has its own distinct place upon my palette. When I want a crisp, lightly sweet pickle, I reach for a Vlassic. Yet when I’m hankering for something more savory, more garlicy, I’ll cram my hand in a Claussen jar.

I can’t say that any of this has any meaning or cultural relevance, but it is curious since, as I said, I don’t normally eat pickles with such voracity or vigor. I mean, in the past three weeks I’ve gone through five or six jars. Now that’s pickle dedication, wouldn’t you agree? Hmmm. Anyway, that’s all. Perhaps more to follow. Perhaps not.

A little back story – recently the wife and I purchased a new house. We upgraded from a townhouse to a single family home out of spatial necessity. We settled on the new house in late March and were slated to move in around the first of April. Once the devious portion of my mind realized the timing of these events it simply said to me, “Well, you know what this means, don’t you?” And I did. I instantly realized not only what I could do, but what I HAD to do.

So, we settled on the new house and packed up our things and moved in…and never told a single soul. Nobody knew we had moved. No one. And then, after our things were unpacked we phoned some friends and invited them over for a normal evening of homemade pizza and chilled bottles of Riesling and Pinot Gris. ***On a wholly separate note it should be mentioned that I make the best damned homemade pizza in the country. (Step off son, your Boboli dough and Prego sauce can’t hold a candle to my homemade ale-batter crust and tomato sauce made with vine ripened and sun dried tomatoes, sautéed with caramelized onion, fresh basil and Cabernet Sauvignon!!!) But I digress.

Anyway, since nobody knew we had moved, once they arrived at our old house they found nothing more than an empty building and a sign that read, “April Fools Suckers!!!” Below which was a brief explanation that they were the victims of the greatest April Fools joke of all time. On a separate piece of paper I added a cute little puzzle involving a series of scavenger hunt type clues for them to find our new house.

The end result was that every single stinkin’ one of them never knew a thing and were completely shocked by my devious hoax. HAHAHAHA!!! I laugh last!! I laugh last!! SUCKERS!!!!

So, that’s my prank. It was well worth a couple months of anxious silence and well choreographed maneuvering. The only problem is figuring out how to outdo myself next year.

Well, it’s over. It’s finally over. I made it to level 6 and wrote my review. The weight of a thousand worlds is finally off my shoulders. As I said in the review, I can once again walk tall. And yet…where does this leave me? So much passion has been spent these past weeks…months…waiting, waiting. Patiently waiting. And now, well, it’s over. I kind of feel like that guy from the Princess Bride – don’t remember the character’s name, the one who was played by Mandy Paten – Patin – Pa…you know, the guy who was in Elmo in Grouchland? Yeah, him. Anyway, his whole life was spent thinking, planning, needing to avenge his father’s death. And then, when he finally does – ooops, didn’t mean to spoil the ending for you, sorry – but when he finally does he’s left with this sort of melancholy feeling. As if he’s not sure what to do next. That’s me.

But hey, there’s more to life than hating Crash Bandicoot, right? I mean there are a whole horde of games out there that are actually good. Right? So, I guess that will be my future. I’ve warned the world about Crash and now I can help others find better games to play. Hmmm. Where to start…

Shnoog

I...I...I'm stunned. It's happened. I don't know how, but it's happened. I'm at level 6. I...I...all I know is for the past six days the mother-in-law was in town (ugh - yes, the mother-in-law)...she was sleeping where the computer is, so there wasn't going to be much online time...last I checked (before she arrived) I was at level five and sixty something percent....I was sure nothing would have changed in all that time...that I'd have to push on as soon as I got back online...and tonight...I logged on and...I...I...I'm stunned. I've made it. I'm "Complete"!! Okay, so now...well, now I have some work to do. I have a review to write!!! I HAVE PURPOSE!!! No more journal entries for a while...I have to get to work!!!!

Shnoog

*Note - as always, read previous posts first so that this nonsensical rambling is able to at least make a little sense.

Damn you Rich Gallup...again!! Just when I had made you my personal (if not entirely irrational) scapegoat, you went and did the one thing to change my mind!! I read your little blog and dammit, you had to go and hate the Yankees as much as me. Damn you!! Damn you!! Damn you!! How can I use you as a scapegoat when we’re brothers in arms? Sure, it’s not the same colors we wear, but an enemy of my enemy is a friend of mine…or, wait…a friend of my enemy is…no, that’s not it either…my enemy’s enemy is…oh, to hell with it!! I can’t hate you anymore is the problem.

Hmmm. I guess I need a new irrational scapegoat. Maybe I’ll blame that Alex Navarro dude. Or maybe that Kasavin guy…no, bad idea. He’s been with the site too long. He could probably get me booted or something. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll pick that Bethany chick. She seems innocent enough. I don’t know. I need time to think.

You know, maybe…just maybe my anger is misplaced. Perhaps I’m so befuddled by this Bandicoot game that I’m taking my rage out on the wrong people. Innocent folks that have nothing to do with…oh, what am I THINKING?!?! Casualties of War!! Bandicoot, I’m still coming – scapegoat or no scapegoat!!!

Shnoog

Finally...finally...I'm at level 5. Progress, yes. But the road is still long. Tick-tick, my sights are narrowed on you Bandicoot. It's only a matter of time...

Shnoog

*Note - Before you read this journal entry, please read the first entry (the one below it), otherwise everything will be taken out of context and therefore make little sense (if it makes any sense at all). Thank you.

Okay, I'm at level 4 and 55%. This is progress, but...

It's taking too long. I've scoured this site for everything - anything. Just yesterday I was at 44%. Sure, it's an 11% increase, but come on. I've read every preview, every review. I've looked at a thousand cheats - even for games like Doom 3. Do I own Doom 3? Do I ever intend to purchase Doom 3? NO! But I'm clocking in the hours here guys!! Throw a dog a bone! What do I have to do get to level 6?

I repeat. It's taking too long. I'm frustrated. I need to point fingers. Hmmm. I know - I'll blame Rich Gallup. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Okay, sure I suppose in some way one could rationally argue that he has nothing to do with this. He didn't create the requisites one needs to attain a higher level within the GameSpot community...(...or DID he? Hmmm.). But still. I need a scapegoat. And I'm feeling exceptionally irrational at this point in time! Yes! That's it! This is all your fault Rich Gallup!! Damn you Rich Gallup!! Make me rise higher, faster so that I can save the world from Crash Bandicoot and his infernal loading time! It's for a just cause!!!

More to follow...

Shnoog

Okay, here's the Truth. I'll tell you why I am submitting a journal entry onto the GameSpot server. Why it is I am adding my game collection to the collection space, why I am feverishly rating games and creating a now playing list. Are you ready? Good. Here goes...

I will begin with this - I have used the incisive information that is found within the many GameSpot reviews as a means of helping me to decided what games to purchase. I think the editors/reviewers are right on the mark most of the time and as a result I've been able to add some truly great games to my collection that I otherwise would have never even known about (Katamari Damacy to name just one). Thanks GameSpot. You're awesome.

However, a couple of years ago I was given a game called Crash Bandicoot and the Wrath of Tampax (or some such rubbish) and I hated it. Wait! Time out. That's an incredible understatement. I despised it. I loathed it. Simply looking at the coverart on the box made me seethe with rage. It still does. It's perhaps not the worst game ever made, but it's damn sure the worst I've ever played. And all these years of bottled up frustration have caused me far too much stress.

I became a GameSpot member for reasons I won't get into right now, but once I found out that I could review games, I felt all my years of anger could finally come to an end. I could tell the world what a horrendous game this Crash Bandicoot was and thereby cathartically put an end to it once and for all.

And then I found out that since I'm not a "Complete" member I won't be able to post a review until I attain level 6. Damn you GameSpot. Damn you. My spirits were crushed, or perhaps...Crashed? But in either case I felt worse in the end than I had in the beginning. Until, that is, I made up my mind - I was not going to let that stop me. I WILL write my review, I WILL have the final word. Oh, yes. That's right. I will...

So, here I am. Doing what I can to bump my level up, higher and higher. I'm at level 4 right now and growing stronger. Some day soon, as my rating increases, as I watch the ticker with ardent anticipation go from level 5.9 to that elusive 6, then and only then will my life be "Complete".

Do you hear me Crash Bandicoot? You may have won the battle thus far, but your time is running out!! I will not stop GameSpotting until my words are published! Your days are numbered Bandicoot! I'm coming for ya!!!!!!

That's all for now. Keep your eyes here for the Bandicoot count-down. Tick-tick-tick...

Shnoog