Things can get really boring when you are a cubicle dweller. I get really stir crazy and feel like screaming sometimes. Lately, I've been trying to figure out a way to go to my car and take a nap without anyone in management finding out. Unfortunately, the only way I can do that is to become management. I have no desire to be in management. Too much stress. Too much blame. On that note, one of my co-workers and I have been causing mischief in the office to help alleviate the spring-fever cubicle boredom we are all feeling. It's called e-mail tag. Our company has very strict policies about protecting privacy. We are not to leave our computers "unlocked" if we are away from our desks. Period. Yet, there are a few people who persist and just getting up and going on break, to lunch or to the potty without locking their computers. So, we've been on alert for these people. The minute one of them gets up and leaves, one of us will run up to their computer, open the in-house e-mail program and shoot off an email to another co-worker and then immediately go into the "sent" folder and delete the sent email so that there is no trace of the e-mail. Then, we go back to our seats and wait. We wait on the co-worker to come back and find some kind of response to the e-mail he/she has recently sent. It's fun to watch the reaction. It goes like this. K gets up and goes to the copier. P (my partner in crime) will run up and send an e-mail to C (who hangs out with K) saying something like, "I think I have a fever." Then, he'll delete the sent email and go back to his seat. Meanwhile, C opens the email, reads it and replies to K. K returns to her desk and there is a "Message Waiting" message on her monitor. She opens it and it is a response from C saying something like "I have some tylenol" or "Why don't you go home?" K is puzzled and writes C back, "What are you talking about?" C then gets up and comes around to K's cubicle and says, "You sent me an email saying you were sick." K will deny it. C will think K has lost her mind. K thinks C has lost her mind. Meanwhile, P and I are trying not to laugh out loud. Eventually, K and C stop bickering and realize they've been pranked. P and I are friends with K and C so they look at us. We burst into laughter. People stare at us. C responds, "You suck!" and goes back to her desk. K giggles a little and then the moment of whimsy passes. OK, yes, it is immature. We don't do it to everyone. We keep it within our little circle of friends. Yet, day after day, it is amusing. K and C can't quite learn to lock their computers so there is at least one point in the day where we do this to them... and they always fall for it at first. Wanting to change things up a little, P broadened the playing field yesterday afternoon to include B, the guy who sits behind me who always talks about redneck jokes, NASCAR and his hot tub. He thinks his hot tub is a chick magnet. I tell him it's just a huge bubbling soup bowl of his germs. So, yesterday, B got up and went for his afternoon "newspaper time" in the bathroom. He's usually gone for a good 10-15 minutes. He didn't lock his computer. On the other side of the wall from B is D, who has nicknames for everyone and who likes to dip into everyone's conversations. They are like two peas in a pod. So, P went to B's computer and sent D an email saying, "Do you have any mail?" We all take turns taking mail to the mailroom and yesterday was B's turn. Every day, D is never ready with his mail. We always have to wait on him to slowly fold and stuff all of his envelopes. D also hates email and if he gets one, he will get up and walk to the sender and answer it in person... and then stays around to talk about other stuff for a good 20 minutes or so.) P told me what he did so we sat there waiting the rest of the day for D to come over to talk to B. He never came. Today, P and I were discussing it and he said, "I don't know what happened. Maybe he didn't open the email?" Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I asked B if D had sent him an email. He said no. So, P and I told him about the email joke. B got up and went to D and asked him if he got an email from him. D said no... then advised B that there were 7 people in our company with the same name so you have to put in his middle initial for him to get his mail. B told P about this. P said, "Oh sh*t! I didn't include a middle initial." So, we looked in the directory and tried to figure out who P had sent the email to... turns out he sent it to an AVP in Texas. We retired the e-mail tag game immediately. Now, we're faxing blank paper from the company fax machine to K and C's phones. You'd think at some point they'll realize that the "beep beep beep" they hear every time they answer the phone ISN'T some weird glitch in the system. Until then, we sit back and wait for our inevitable "You suck!" :)