In the course of the first seventeen years of my life, I've experienced a huge variety of friendships. I've socialized with jerk friends, close friends, casual friends, comedy friends, and countless other categories of friends. And as I dig through my memory, there are only three friendships which I can truly remember. I think of my bus friend, my close school friend, and my fuzzy lover friend. Lopate states as the very last sentence of his essay 'Modern Friendships': "There can be no friendship without forgiveness"(272). According to Lopate I have to be in a situation in where I can be forgiven, or I can forgive in order to call my relationship a friendship. No!, whether it's a casual friend or an extremely close one, whether it's to start a new friendship or whether it's to further a long lasting friendship, both subjects must have the willingness for friendship.
My bus friend Freddy was a freshman, and I was a senior. At this Q18 bus stop, at some uncertain day, this kid Freddy introduced himself to me. Immediately we began conversations, we got to know a little of each other everyday, or sometimes every week, at the bus stop. I found out that he is a very multitasked person because he is able to balance karate, basketball, and school. Freddy was a freshman and as one he came to me for advice; he admired me. The bus stop and the bus itself was our haven for conversation of bully ethics, life, fighting, and school; we both attended the same high school, so we encountered each other in the hallways and did the cliché fist pump and handshake, which I faked. We had plenty conversations, but only at the bus stop, and the bus itself, I willingly chose to be Freddy's friend as a convenience, that's why I was shocked when at the end of the school year Freddy asked me for my email. I gave my email to him, but even I know that it takes two emails to chat, that's why I deliberately chose not to ask for Freddy's email, therefore ending the friendship. At this instant my friendship was tested, it was my decision whether to continue or end the friendship and for my reasons I chose the latter.
My close school friend Frances had chubby cheeks, glasses, and was Asian. I really liked my friend Frances because we were exactly the same except I was Hispanic and he was Asian. We both laughed at each other's sarcastic personalities, and we both loved to excel at school. Frances was the friend that I was most closest to, the most open with; I could really tell Frances anything, even things I don't tell my own brother, and he would give me a straight up common sense response just like I would. We laughed all throughout freshman year; in fact our friendship was so great it lasted two years of absence. It wasn't until my senior year when I saw Frances in the hallway, we did the cliché handshake, which was genuine, even though we were separated by the school system for two years. It didn't stop us from greeting each other. The two year separation didn't cause us to forget because once we saw each other, both of us uniformly made the choice to continue being friends. This situation could have easily gone the opposite way where both subjects saw each other as complete strangers, but in this case both of the subjects saw each other as friends and proceeded to make the choice of retaining the friendship.
My fuzzy lover friendship is the one I remembered the most; of course this friendship deals with a girl, her name was Michelle. Michelle was beautiful and unique; Michelle has this positive aura that surrounds her where ever she goes, she lights up the room with just her smile; I was lucky enough to have her sit next to me in zoology class. It was truly one in a trillion; I liked her, but I wouldn't dare to express my feelings to her because at the time I was dealing with a self conscious. Day in and day out Michelle and I laughed and giggled when are eyes met; we scribbled smiley faces on each other's arms and notebooks; this was our fuzzy lover friendship, little talking just glances and smiles. The end of our senior year was arriving and Michelle decided to ask for my number. I couldn't believe it, I then asked for her number. I didn't call her until a month into summer vacation; we hit it off great over the phone, I actually talked with her and got know her goals. I found out what she wants to become, what's her motivation and it just hit me why I liked her. We had scheduled a date, all I have to do was call her back and give her the details, but the paper which Michelle wrote her number on disappeared; I went crazy looking for it, I turned my house upside down. It is forever lost, till this day when I go to the subway I always check each train car to see if she is there, I hope to run into her someday, but if I run into Michelle my intentions are to continue the friendship and steer it to a romance, I realized what a jerk she mustthink I am, it's possible that she doesn't want any part of me, and that she lost the willingness for my friendship. In this sad situation I am basing the willingness on our hypothetical encounter. If I meet her, the decision to even recognize me waybefore starting a friendship is all on her.
A friendship is a friendship no matter how casual or closely you feel; In short, the friendship starts when two people are willing to accept it, and friendship ends when one or two people are not willing to accept it. I may have had good conversations with my bus friend Freddy, but once the school year was over, I made the choice to end it for it made sense since I didn't need someone to occupy my time. My school friend Frances and I shared a lot in common so it wasn't hard for either of us to choose to continue being friends; it was easy. My fuzzy lover friend, where ever she is, if I bump into her it really is her choice if the friendship continues. We humans are thinkers, we make judgments everywhere, maybe a little too quickly with deciding the length of our friendships.