So as you may have guessed, a significant amount of my time has recently been spent working on the Homefront review. As I fought my way through the brief campaign, I had a chance to meet some of the folks that populate this harrowing vision of America's future. Some of the chattier ones stayed with me throughout the adventure, forbidding me climb ladders before they did and exhibiting a superhuman resistance to bullets. Others I met in passing, exchanging a few pleasantries as we both went about our business.
And some wouldn't talk to me at all, content to live in their own selfish little worlds. I'm talking here about the children. The only time I got close to any whippersnappers was in the visit to Oasis, a makeshift community out in the wasteland of vacated suburbs. The first ones I approached ignored me completely, content to "slumber" near the fire even though it was midday. One of them appeared to be having a bad dream. Either that, or he was pooping in his sleeping bag.
My next encounter with a wee one proved to be a bit dicier, as this one was guarded by a grown-up lady. She wasn't about to indulge my curiosity, and I didn't want to tell her that her baby looked dead. Fortunately, she seemed to notice something was amiss herself, which saved me the awkwardness of having to bring it up.
After I made my exit from this den of weirdos, I emerged into the backyard to find the weirdest weirdo of all. A child on a swingset. He seemed innocuous enough, engaged as he was in the honored childhood past-time that also makes most adults nauseous. Yet upon further inspection, it became clear that this was no child, but some strange misproportioned homunculus. Perhaps the settlers were keeping him as a sort of psychological warfare, or perhaps he just wandered in one day and no one had the courage to expel him and his overdeveloped shoulders.
As my dramatic language can attest, this little fella became quite the phenomenon around the office. Actually, I need to give credit to Shaun McInnis for spotting him during his time with the preview code. It was Shaun's initial reaction that led to the elevation of this "child" to near legendary status. For such a creature, no mere screenshot will suffice!
The least I could do was spring for the laser light background. If you want to see this lil' guy in action, check out the video review and scan forward to the 5:30 mark. You'll see. Then come back and let me know what you think. If enough people take a liking to this fella, I'll add an epilogue that includes a grim theory about his origin story.