I hate cutting my grass. It takes me approximately 3 hours every two weeks to do all the cutting, trimming, etc. for my yard. That's 6 extra hours per month that could be spent playing video games! So what's the solution? Here's a cost/benefit analysis of a few options.

I could hire someone to do it. Yes, and if the cost to pay them is worth my time and opportunity cost of not playing video games, then it would be a fiscally sound move.

What else?

I could spray weed killer and basically kill all my grass. Then I wouldn't have to cut it. This solution would be much cheaper than the prior. The extra money saved could be invested in more video games. The disadvantages would be the unsightly brown dirt-yard I'd have. Maybe neighbors would complain, but since there is no homeowners' association in my neighborhood, who cares? Hey, another benefit of this option: when it rains, I'd have a big muddy yard, which is an ideal locale for nude, female mud wrestling! Now we're talkin'! I'd just have to get my hands on some sexy women who'd want to do that sort of thing. In fact, if I charged admission, I could potentially turn a profit on this event. So this option could actually earn money, not cost me!

Anything else?

I could get my wife to cut the grass, while I stayed inside and played video games. Not!!!! Who am I kidding? Yeah, and I'm like Wolverine or something.

If anyone reads this, do you have another option, or like one of the ones listed above?

Oh, and I forgot to mention, if I choose option 2 (you know, sexy, nude, female mud wrestlin' while I"m playing video games), my wife may very well get so upset she'd give me the ol' "nut butter" kick, as she leaves my a$$! Whether that's a cost or a benefit, I'll leave that as a mystery.

Happy grass cutting to you,

Wolverine Cid.