I have finally come to a proper name for my shovelware entires. Alas, welcome to Sho-EVIL-War! From now on, I'm going to do specifics on each title that I deem "Sho-EVIL-War" and explain exactly why it is that. Because, after all, they are more EVIL than anything else I know in the gaming world. (Also I declare WAR on these atrocities.) I should know, I'll have 20 years of experience at the end of February! You've already seen some of the horror. Now, you'll get details of the exorcisms. I'm starting off my demonic ressurrection of The Blues Brothers: Jukebox Adventure for the SNES!

Table of Contents

I. Overall Description
II. Graphics
III. Sound
IV. Gameplay
a. Run and Jump
b. Enemies
V. Miscellanious
a. Various Problems
b. Two Player Mode

I. This is a sequel to another horrible game which I played for 20 minutes as a kid. The game wasn't mine (thank goodness) The Blues Brothers for the NES. I have nothing wrong with the Blues Brothers, in fact I love the movie and the SNL skits. One of John Belushi's greatest characters as Jake wasn't as insane as Bluto in "Animal House" (college cl@$$ic) or as his kick butt samuari self on Saturday Night Live.

II. From what I remember as a kid, the first one was boring and got really annoying. All you had to do was go to the end of the level with finger numbing obsticles that made the game unplayable. I would do that one but I can't find it anywhere. Instead we get this second generation game that I despise just as much! It was designed for kids and it really shows. The colors are off the wall crazy. Pinks and blues and green and the only dark color is from the Brothers' suits and the enemies. Why does everything have to pop out at you but then... the enemies are just as dark as you. I don't understand. These colors are of the Blues Brothers and it is supposed to be cool. But it isn't. Instead, the enemies are dark too. Can't they be as trippy as the rest of the environment?

III. The sound is terrifying. From the star you'll hear: "Roc'Roc'Roc'Rock-N-Roll!" Once is enough but it isn't. Every once in a while you'll find power ups (most don't do anything) and then you'll hear "Roc" again. The music tends to loop quite a bit and there's no way around it. Why not change it up a little? Isn't Blues Brothers supposed to be about MUSIC? It is but in a dehumanizing way. This game is about 25 levels long two player mode, 40 one player mode. The looping of sound is just awful. And when you die, you get a YELP! sound. What are they? Dogs?

IV. a. All you do in this game is throw records (music related product) and avoid obsticles to get to the Jukebox. It's just a platformer with stupid disease. Each brother has his own strengths and weaknesses. Elwood is tall and can jump higher. Jake is short and jumps like a moose. Where else have I heard of such a thing?

b. Hmmmm... anyway, they have the stages set up exactly the same each time. So if you are Jake and you need to jump on a platform that's a bit higher than you, you can't. You are too fat and fall to your death. All there is to it. Then you got to start all over again! The enemies are the strangest things I have ever seen, a lawn mower with eyes, an angry snail, flies with faces on them, jumping bear traps, and so forth. They respawn in even as you are on the same screen you killed them in. It's like "you killed this enemy, here it is again! Enjoy!" Why would a snail have to be angry? And why does he want to stop the Blue Brothers perform? Perform? What? More like not!

V. a. The only thing that they do is throw records and try to get to a jukebox. It says "tune up your instrument and get ready to play some blues!" I haven't seen any instrument at all in this game. Unless records and jukeboxes are instruments, but they are not. No guitars, no drums, no microphones, nothing. That bothers me to shreds. They have time to make ticked off lawn mowers and wacky enivornments but no instruments? Not going to go well with me.

b. Two player mode is a pain in the freaking rump. My friend and I played it recently to find that lots and lots of obsticles have to be precisely done or else you are going to die. If one of you dies, then both of you got to go back to the beginning. And you have to be straight on or what happens? Death. We spent 30 minutes trying to jump on a chain to get us both on it. And we still died. This game is so bad that my liver gave out. Thanks Jukebox Adventures! At least they didn't make a sequel...

What? NOOOOOOO!!!! :cry: I hope you all liked the new format of the Sho-EVIL-War! Can't wait to do more! :D