Why do I cry myself to sleep?

I love my ex so much. We have been broken up for just shy of a year now, but were together just about 3 years. He just broke my heart out of nowhere. Then 8 months after we break up tells me he has always still been in love with me and might want to get back together...Then wastes my time because he just can't do it. Why would he tell me that and give me the slighest bit of hope. He only told me because I told him I was moving on.

I can't find a good guy since him. I find crappy guys who don't want relationships and just want to screw around...which that isn't me. Not what I want. They don't get what they want out of me and go on their merry way.

He drives me nuts, but I love him more than anything. It sucks. Really really badly. I need to cut him out of my life, but I just can't. He means too much to me. I would die if he wanted me out of his life.

I'm just like meant to die alone or something I guess.