So while going through my comp clearing out all the old homework, eassys, pictures from last year I came across this story I did for english last year. Its about Little Red Riding Hood. Got a A on it and made the whole class laugh. So im going to try to put it on here its coming form microsoft so not sure how it will turn out.

Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time... In the middle of Chicago there was a small house just the right size for a mother and a daughter because, a few years ago daddy ran off with a girl that he met at work and never returned. The girl that lived in the house was known as little red riding hood, for the red cape she had been wearing for the last 16 years and the fact she was the devils daughter. Well anyway grandma just found out she had cancer...aids... 3 types for STDs, herpes, the clap, hepatitis...A, B, C and D, T-virus, and crabs. So Reds mother told her to go take grandma her pills but to go on the bus and not to get off until she got there!

Red told her mother not to worry that she would. With that she was off. On the way to the bus stop, Red had seen that the ice cream truck had broke down and the guy was giving away free ice cream. Forgetting her mothers words she ran to go get some ice cream. After 20 ice cream pops she was done and missed her bus. Yet she was not worried she knew the way to her grandmas house and it was still day light she had nothing to worry about.

While walking to her grandma's house a black car followed her slowly behind her. Now worried Red started running faster and faster and even faster until she hit a pole. When she got up, the wolf in the car came out to see how she was. He was tall, had a huge coat on, which was odd for it being 93 degrees out side, but... Red was blond so... The wolf asked her where she was going. Red said to her sick grandma's house to give her pills. Then the wolf asked, 'does she live alone'? Then Red said, 'yes she does she does, live all alone. Sick in bed cant even get up, never locks the front door, cant hear very well any more, also cant see very well also, forgets how I'm most the time, then silly grandma keeps all her money on the 1st floor behind a picture of a killer bunny in a locked safe that's code is 35246. She has a good 1mill worth of stuff in there. The wolf now dazed by this and asked if she wanted a ride there. Red said her mother told her never to go with strangers she does not know, and that her grandma does not live much father away just 1 block north, then turn right at the light, then down 5 houses in the blue house with the tall grass in the lawn. With that, the wolf jumped in his car and drove off. Thinking he could kill the grandma and take her riches and when Red got there to kidnap her and sell her on eBay.

Then wolf got to the house before Red could. He went into the house and looked for the picture found it and was about to open it when Red started knocking on the door. Scared by this he ran up stairs but ran into the grandma's room. Found her lying in bed. He found rope at the side of the bed not wanting to ask why it was there, he tied her up and threw her out the bed room window. While doing this Red finally went into the house and up to the grandma's room. Then wolf jumped into the bed and acted like he was her grandma.

Red got to the room and said. Why grandma: how tall you have gotten. The wolf said the better to reach my pills on the top self. Why grandma what a deep voice you have. The wolf said the better my lungs get. Then again, why grandma what a dark, hot looking, huge coat you have. The wolf said... the better to...um... screw it. The wolf jumped up and went after Red with rope while Red ran around the room screaming.

Out side walking down the side walk Ted (the ice cream guy) was passing grandmas house and seeing the front door open. Knowing she was sick and could not get out of bed he went to go see what was up. When he got inside he found Red tied up and the wolf holding 3 bags filled with money, gold, rings, puppies, and jewels. The wolf looked at Ted with a shocked look on his face. Ted jumped back and said you're the wolf that the cops are looking for! The one with the huge coat stealing money and selling kids on eBay! With that Ted pulled a shotgun out of his back pocket and shot the guy. His face blew up into 100s and 100s of little pieces. Ted then untied Red and waved goodbye and left. Shortly after Reds mother came worry about Red as she had been gone for 8hrs when the trips should have took 20mins. Red took the wolfs keys and told her mother that she won a car. With that Red and her mother drove off with the wolfs black car back home. A hour later the cops showed up took the wolf to jail and found grandma in the back yard tied up with massive head trauma, excessive internal bleeding, a broken neck, 87.3 broken bones.

The wolf was sent to jail for about 103 days, Red and her mother got a lawsuit of a quarter of a million dollars, Ted ended up getting a bran new Ice cream truck.

End