State of the Union 2.0
darthzew
*Booming applause as darthzew takes the stage, waving to his people*
Fellow gamers, once again I've put together an address that shall state the current affairs and truths of the gaming world. These events and facts concern us all as gamers. Ultimately, we are together and ultimately, we are one.
*Applause*
These are troubled times for everyone, even those of us who do not game. Income becomes a greater scarcity in these strained times for the economy. We all feel pain as it becomes harder and harder to get the games we want, but fear not! The latest NDP numbers tell us that gaming is hardly threatened. This is because the common man seeks to escape the turmoil of the day and he turns to alternate reality. And what is the defining alternate reality of our time?
Video gaming.
*Booming applause from the crowd, darthzew motions for silence*
The three major consoles are still at war with one another, but rest easy for all are good!
*Applause*
Sony's Playstation 3 system sells the fewest of all systems. Only recently did it manage to break the twenty-million sale milestone that the other three have broken long-past. These facts are as unfortunate as they are irrelevant. All that should matter are the games. It is the Playstation 3 that has so far released the single best, most critically-acclaimed game of 2009: Killzone 2.
*applause*
None can deny its merits and all should be an awe at its especially spectacular visuals. While its sales have so far been less than perfect, that again, should not matter. It is, with no doubt, an amazing video game the represents some of the best things that the first-person shooter genre has to offer. There is no better way to start the gaming year than this!
*applause*
Nintendo's Wii is the best selling of the three major systems! It is nearing fifty-million sales and it does not seem to be slowing down!
*applause*
While its aim is not to the hardcore, which most of us are, it succeeds in creating more of us. Now, I pose this question, what is wrong with more gamers?
*louder applause*
WiiFit has sold ten million units, which makes it one of the best-selling video games of all time. It is a unique initiative that proves that gaming has no limits in what it can do for humankind. Where it once only provided minute amounts of fun, it then provided an escape. Where it once provided an escape, it now provides an art form.
*Applause*
But now, it has done the unthinkable! For too long has gaming been the hallmark of laziness. Now, I give you gaming that also provides fitness and exercise! If this is not progress, then what is?
*thoughtful silence*
Finally, Microsoft's Xbox 360 is at second place in terms of sales. It has surpassed expectations as many speculated that by now, the Playstation 3 would have overtaken the 360. But it has not.
*Light applause, oohs from the Sony section*
From the beginning of this generation, the Playstation 3 continued to lose exclusives to the 360. The most recent of these losses is Final Fantasy XIII. But as gamers, we should not see this as a loss to the PS3 but a gain to the nearly thirty-million gamers who own an Xbox 360!
*Applause*
On the game front, there hasn't been much worth noting for the Xbox 360. There was Halo Wars, but it is hardly a footnote in the grand scheme of things. It is, however, a great game that is worth mention for its good sales and work as an improvement in the console RTS genre. But in the end, there are greater things.
The year 2009 so far has little to offer. There are simply not as many hallmark releases scheduled. The hype has yet to be built, but rest assured: we are gamers and there is always something. The year has only just started and as such, we will be forever hopeful!
*applause*
Stay together in these troubled times. Do not falter. Video gaming needs you! Legal teams and those who do not understand us stand firm, halting progress. But we stand ever firmer!
*Applause*
Jack Thompson, once at the forefront of video game opposition, has been finally dealt a killing blow, in the form of disbarment, by none other than our government.
*Booming applause*
But nevertheless our challenge is great. Some members of the German government are calling for a ban of violent video games in their nation. To all gamers in Germany: you are strong and I am confident that you will emerge as nothing other than victorious!
*Loud applause*
Gaming is great and I am proud to call myself a gamer! Thank you and God bless!
*Loud, booming, and ultimate applause as Darth Zew exits the stage*